Terrapin Station

#reverb10 - Lesson Learned

December 17 – Lesson Learned What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

I can do it. 

Me and Rosie the Riveter.  And a couple dozen close friends. 

I can do things I didn't think I could.  I can stand up when I want to lie down with the covers over my head.  I can smile when I want to scream. I can walk ahead. 

If you'd asked me before this year, I'd have said I could do all those things.  But this year presented some specific challenges that I'd never anticipated, and I had to step up in ways I never knew would be presented to me.  I guess that's how life goes, right? 

Going forward...my life will include even more challenges and changes.  I have some that I am aware of.  And, oh, I bet there are some surprises out there, too. 

I want to hold on to the awareness of this strength, some of which came from me and from God, and much of which came from the loving support of friends.  Without you, I'm nothing. 

 

#reverb10 -

December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

The time at the beach with my parents...so precious to be there and especially with them.  They have such a long history there (they spent their honeymoon there!) and what a delight to just spend the time with them. 

Time with my parents in general.  I am going out there once a month now and our visits include quotidian tasks like paying bills, filling pill boxes, cleaning out the fridge, doing laundry...but we also always LAUGH.  How lucky am I to have parents who are two of the funnest people I know, and two of my best friends? Did I know this before?  I am not sure, and I surely don't want to forget it. 

Supportive friends as I walked through some really tough times.  You know who you are. 

Working in a new job with a new cadre of colleagues.  I have only done this twice before...because I'm old school and stay in jobs for A LONG TIME.  This is essentially my third professional job ever, and I'm 45.  So that change was huge and has been a blast.  I've learned a lot and had a lot of fun.  I've also learned how much more I have to learn!  Really. 

My nearby sister who I don't see often is a great treasure in my life.  She's had a hard year and I have not been able to do much for her except listen...but sometimes I guess that's the best thinga person can do. 

December 16 - Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

 A friend told me that "It wouldn't make me a bad girl" if I looked at making a big change in my life.  Really, she used those words in an email.  It was like being hit in the head with a 2x4. 

It gave me the freedom to look and see what the possibilities might be.  I didn't make the change, ultimately, but what an opening out in the world of possibilities.  Thank you. 

#reverb10 - action and appreciate

December 13 – Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

Baby steps.  What I know to be true is that the elephant has to be eaten one bite at a time.  I don't do well with big projects and grand ideas.  I have a hard time seeing big pictures.  But I am very capable of seeing pie in the sky. 

So, to get anything done about, for instance, the 11 things I mentioned a few days ago...every one of them has to be approached incrementally. 

I took a first step the other day by asking Ken to call the house cleaner recommended to me by my sister.  Three times she's given me the number, but I am ashamed (yes, I certainly am) to ask someone else to clean my house.  Yet I can't keep up with it...for whatever reason...and I need and can afford the help.  He said, "no problem" and called her.  She starts on Monday.  :) 

I need to take first steps on the other things too.  I made it to a WW meeting last night...one step on weight.  I am seeing energy work person today...one step on shoulder.  Saturday Ken and I are going to Northpark Mall and I plan a side trip to the furniture store known as The Dump to buy a new mattress. 

Like that. 

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December 14 – Appreciate What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

This is not a thing but a person: my husband.  We are very different and sometimes I wonder how we ended up together, but I love him dearly.  We each have a tremendous amount of personal space in the relationship. We often travel separately. But we enjoy together time, too. 

He supports me in wonderful and subtle ways.  All I have to do is say, "this is what I need" and he is happy to give it.  And that's the "this year" part of it...this year I learned, with some help, how to do that.  The bottom line is that there's no way he can read my mind (although some people, mostly women, can, he cannot). 

So I am able to appreciate him very much at this point for who he is and not who I think he is or who I think he should be. 

And, given my onion analogy previously mentioned, I am sure that my success with that will continue to change and grow (and at times, falter!)   

#reverb10 - Body Integration

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Sitting at the beach, on the day mentioned in the Moment post.  I would argue that I feel most integrated with my body when I am aware that I have a body - because for many years I was not aware of that.  So in that moment, being aware of my body and my mind separately, was a great time of integration.

#reverb10 - 11 Things

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

current interest rate on mortgage!  - getting refi papers to finish, TODAY.  

the broken TV in the hallway - room to move

so, so, so much clutter - clutter in my physical space always means clutter in my head and heart.  

a mattress that hurts both of us and needs to be replaced - we've got to get a new one!!

indecision based in fear

these 40 lbs. and the attendant brain junk - duh

hurting shoulder and knee - move more, massage more, meditate more  

1973 kitchen, ugh

dust and cobwebs - the White Lightning Lady (domestic goddess) starts on 12.20

upstairs in disarray - begin the clean out and remodeling a little at a time

stash yarn I'm never going to use - to knit scarves?

#reverb10 Wisdom

Wisdom.  What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? 

Huh.  I have been sitting with this for a few days and still, I'm stumped.  If I were in a place where I were making big life changing decisions, it'd be easier:  to get married, to move, to buy a car.  Nothing like that happened this year.  

The choice that I have made (when I remember) that has had the best results is this:  I have to accept people for who they are, and not try to change them to suit my desires or fantasies.  I can't say it's through my own wisdom, but through the wisdom of a number of traditions that I try to hear.  And, kids, the first time I realized this lesson I was 24 years old.  So it's not a new one or one that I am likely to "get down" any time soon.  

#reverb10 Beautifully Different

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

I laugh in a loud and uninhibited way that people say makes them happy.  :) 

I am enthusiastic about many things and I like to be very encouraging. 

I like to read a lot.  People seem to like that, and whether they do or not, I do.  :) 

I love dogs, which I didn't used to know. 

I love birds.

#reverb10 Community

    

December 7 – Community.

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

(Author: Cali Harris)

I am very fortunate that online community and IRL community are both abundantly available to me.  My online friends continue to become more dear to me each day, and I am grateful for their presence in my life. 

I have a BFF whom I see most days, and sisters by birth and by choice, and friends I may not see or talk to regularly, but who I can count on at any time.  I am richly blessed. 

This year I look forward to becoming more involved with the Expansive Language project and with others in my area about that prospect.

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I made some Hot and Sour Soup (recipe in my notes), and I made some Apple Streusel Crumb Thingy with Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and a recipe from the Pillsbury website.  And it was EXHAUSTING.  I used to love to cook complicated things, but not right now.  All that chopping and prepping, all those dishes, egads! 

I just want to grill some meat and veggies.  Or eat what I call Single Girl Special:  rice with spaghetti sauce and some cheese mixed in. 

Or hey, I could go out to eat. 

What would like to make?  I'd like to start a kimono sweater for which I bought a pattern and handspun, hand-dyed yarn oh, 2 years ago.  But it doesn't tell what size needles to use; it just says, "needles of size to achieve gauge."  And I've not been able to make myself sit down and swatch to find out what that means. 

Sigh. 

I have holiday time coming.  Then, then I will do it.  I will sit by the Christmas Tree and knit.

Oh, that is, if I get the dang tree put up.  :)

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

I let go of the need for things to be the way I think they should be.  I have done this approximatlely 11 million and fifty times already.  When will I learn?  My teacher says it's about peeling the onion.  Apparently there is no end to this damn onion.

#reverb10 Make

December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I made some Hot and Sour Soup (recipe in my notes), and I made some Apple Streusel Crumb Thingy with Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and a recipe from the Pillsbury website.  And it was EXHAUSTING.  I used to love to cook complicated things, but not right now.  All that chopping and prepping, all those dishes, egads! 

I just want to grill some meat and veggies.  Or eat what I call Single Girl Special:  rice with spaghetti sauce and some cheese mixed in. 

Or hey, I could go out to eat. 

What would like to make?  I'd like to start a kimono sweater for which I bought a pattern and handspun, hand-dyed yarn oh, 2 years ago.  But it doesn't tell what size needles to use; it just says, "needles of size to achieve gauge."  And I've not been able to make myself sit down and swatch to find out what that means. 

Sigh. 

I have holiday time coming.  Then, then I will do it.  I will sit by the Christmas Tree and knit.

Oh, that is, if I get the dang tree put up.  :)

#reverb10 Let Go

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

I let go of the need for things to be the way I think they should be.  I have done this approximatlely 11 million and fifty times already.  When will I learn?  My teacher says it's about peeling the onion.  Apparently there is no end to this damn onion.