Terrapin Station

Retirement

Retirement continues to be busier than working life. 

I think while you're working you say, "well, I don't have time for that!" and you don't even attempt it. But when you're retired you should have PLENTY of time!!

Not so much. Of course, I'm still working. 

AND:

I'm grateful for the opportunity to go be with my parents as much as possible. To be there for dr. appts and Father's Day and church. 

And for the opportunity to spend regular time with grandgirl Nash, and to take her and her mama and Baby sister Nova to spend time with my parents last week

To spend time with 2 of my sisters. The 3rd one, we have to make it happen! 

To take my parents to Lake Jackson in early July for Uncle Oliver's 100th birthday!

I am taking deep breaths. I want to remember how this feels. It feels lucky:

 

 

 

Looking back, looking forward

It's an anniversary kind of time. 

Yesterday was the 18th anniversary of my marriage to Ken Pritchett. I am still rather amazed that two such different people do so well together. We have worked for a long time on making things work as we have changed over the years. 

It was also the 1st anniversary of my retirement from the State of Texas. It's been a very stretching year, as I have learned what the work for STRIPES Parking Lot Service entails. I learn new things all. the. time. Working with my spouse is another learning curve, as is being away from the university setting which I had loved since 1983. 

Looking back on the past year, I've been spending a lot of time thinking of my parents in San Angelo and a good bit of time going there, being there, coming back. It's 270 miles each way. Their health has deteriorated in the past year, which is reasonable, given that they are 85 and 81. My retirement's biggest gift has really been in this area of my life. I am able to go urgently or regularly. I am able to spend time with them for dire matters and quotidian ones. And, I continue to work for STRIPES while I do it. I carry the company cell phone, equipped with a call recorder, and my laptop. Calls that come in while I'm on the road or busy are easily handled once I'm settled for the night. 

The daily work of STRIPES is very busy, but loose. I can run errands as needed. Yoga and personal appointments have priority and I work around them. I haven't kept a calendar since about last October. I started one in retirement, but I just didn't need it and quit. 

However: There has always been the plan that sometime this summer I would start keeping my 3-year-old granddaughter a couple of days a week. (and you need to see a picture of her, I know: 

Well, the day is coming! On June 12 we will begin our time together. And somehow, as that time drew near, I started to feel unmoored and a little panicked. So I went to Time and Date and printed out some nifty free calendar pages and filled them in. From June through December of this year. 

Of course - none of us know what will happen in the 7 months ahead! But I needed desperately to feel a modicum of control over some area of life. Because there are so many areas that feel wildly out of control - all of the above, and the larger world, too. 

I'm glad to look at the calendar and see some "just for me" things scheduled this month. Camping with Spooky Rach and Co., the Episcopal Women's Caucus meeting, and learning to quilt (with a group of friends to keep me accountable) will help. I continue to visit my Hospice patients, and I see my Enneagram-wise spiritual director monthly. 

I'm trying to do some writing every day, prelude to an evening Examen. I think that, along with the calendar, will help me stay in the road. Keep me attentive to productive doing. 

How are things going for you? 

Life as it is

I haven't written here for a very long time. It's been a busy time of finding my way in retirement. 

I left the University on May 26, so it's been nine months. Perhaps I've gotten to a place where I can talk about what I'm birthing (though I'm still not exactly sure.)

I'm working with Ken and Brandon in the striping business, and it is keeping me VERY busy. Much busier than I expected. Part of that is the continuous phone calls, which interrupt any concentration on estimates in progress. I'm a little worried about how much of my time it's taking. I keep thinking I'm getting better at it, and then one of the spinning plates falls...I keep working at it! 

I've also been prioritizing my health and wellness since the fall, and this Spring I am doing really well with it. I'm taking Juice Plus and eating a plant-based diet with little to no processed food. I'm also exercising like crazy, Jazzercise every day and yoga once a week, with walks around the edges. I've lost about 10 lbs., but most important, I am MUCH stronger and more fit than I was. I have much less inflammation and joint pain, and I have great energy and sleep really well. My balance is improved and I'm working on flexibility, too. 

I've been elected to the Vestry at church and am chairing the Refugee Ministry, in which we welcome a refugee family with a fully furnished apartment. I'm working with a Facebook team on political action...the idea is to encourage one another and feel that we are accomplishing something. 

I've also been training to be a Hospice volunteer, something I've wanted to do for many years. So far I've attended a Bereavement training and one on creating Eleventh Hour vigils for patients whose deaths are imminent. 

Our new granddaughter Nova will be born in April, and after her mama's maternity leave ends in July, older sister Nash will come to us 2 days a week. I'm crazy excited about that! 

I feel I'm in a place that everything in my life has prepared me for. I don't know what it will look like going forward, but I'm excited! 

 

Ken always converses with the squirrels around our Texas home and they chatter back animatedly - especially if one of our dogs is out.
Here at the coast, there are many squirrels outside the porch, specially at the bird feeders. At least two albinos and many more. But they are silent, even when spoken to. Perhaps they have nothing to say.
It strikes me that here, we are blessedly free of the noise pollution that is our daily round.
Unlike city squirrels, these don't really fear us...hawks and other predators, yes.
And what we have to say probably isn't interesting.
Or maybe it's our Texas accents. :)
Last night we went swimming at 2:30 am (a long story, maybe more on that later.) It was a new moon and the phosphorescent creatures in the water were everywhere. It was like being human sparklers. What a gift.

Out to Lunch, then just...Out.

Thoughts on my last day at work:

I've been taken out to lunch twice this week and will be again today. Retirement is like that. :) Lots of laughing, lots of calories.

It's very odd because all my personal stuff is not in this office any more

it's all in boxes at my house

I'm doing last things but these days are taking FOR. EV. ER. to go by

A colleague opined today that I am busying myself with finishing the tasks and I am not really realizing that today's the day.

Oh, my friend, I realize it.

Clearly, there will be many days ahead when I will grieve the loss of this identity, these colleagues, this workspace.

But today...today it is time.

 

Friday Five: All The Things!!!!

Julie in Scotland says, at Revgals:

Gosh but the days are flying by!

I love this time of year – the days are lengthening now, and in my part of the world it means we have light from around 4am to around 9.30 pm – O Wondrous Light!!

What is occupying you this weekend? And what five words could you use to describe it? Play in the comments or on your own blog, and don’t forget to post a link so we can join in too!

(For those who may not have been following along at home, I'm in the last days prior to my retirement. After today, I'll have four more days of work.)

PACKING and PACKED. This weekend was intended to be very free and simple. On Saturday, I would go to Jazzercise, and was then going to pack up my office and get everything personal moved home, with the help of my husband. On Sunday, I was going to acolyte at one service and then my friend Val was coming over to help me unpack into the new home office.

BUT: it turned out that I need to attend a Safeguarding class each day, to ensure that I will be fully trained prior to going on a 2 day mission trip in July. I'm excited about the mission trip! It just seems like everything is happening all at once. There's also a brief acolyting gig on Sunday.

LIMINAL. I'm in that odd place where have so few work days left. I'm almost finished writing up standard procedures to leave behind; most of my personal detritus is in boxes. In my mind, I am partly here and I am already partly gone. Yesterday I did a great deal of the procedures work and it was just exhausting, emotionally. Yesterday evening Ken and I attended the 100 Club Banquet supporting our local police department. It was a great event and I ran into some former associates who were surprised to hear I was retiring. I was thrilled to tell them! But it's sad, too.

SUITCASE. My last day of work is Thursday. On Friday I head to San Angelo for my niece's high school graduation. I'm trying to figure out what to pack and what to leave home. Also, graduation gifts for the young lady who has everything...!!

FAREWELLS. As noted, I'll be acolyting on Saturday, at a funeral for a man I did not know. However, I know his wife slightly, and she has been extremely gracious to me. I'm honored to be able to serve in this capacity. Shortly after that, I'll be going on a trip with my parents, who are elderly. I am so greatly anticipating getting to spend unrushed time with them. They live 5 hours from me, and I know that every time I see them might be the last (before we meet in glory!). It's just a fact. So I want to sink into our oasis of family, in a treasured family place.

SELF CARE. I have just described how there is no extra time in the weekend, but I know that I must have it. Today, after my 5:30 Jazzercise class, I went to a pond in a park on my way home. I just parked there for 10 minutes, lowered the windows, opened the sunroof, and listened to the birds. It was incredibly revitalizing. I realized that I have been going like the Energizer Bunny for the past 2 months...since I decided to retire in early April. There has been so much to do, and I have neglected exercise and stillness. I don't think I'm going to make it 5 more days if I don't take some purposeful breaks. Or, I might...but it might not be pretty!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Recycling of the Paper Trail

The month after I started working at UNT, two of our students were involved in a car accident in Mexico, and one of them was killed.

I had a file on that.

I also had a file on the rape, and one on the vandalism. I had a file on the fatal heroin overdose in Amsterdam.

When I left my job in Study Abroad, I took them with me. They were all at least 10 years old and, as it happened, the next person who held that job threw away all the files I left in that desk.

Anyway, this 6" stack of files has been following me around for many years (almost certainly not in keeping with the standard policy on record retention).

Today, I was clearing out my files, knowing that most of what I had in there is not going to be useful or used. Making huge piles for the recycle bins.

And there they were. Letters from the grieving mothers. Obituary notices and Mass cards. Faxes and legal advice.

I had labeled the first of the files "One Time" meaning, "this isn't EVER going to happen again." But there was a "One Time II" for a different problem.

Something about keeping those files seemed really important to me.

Now, they are gone. I've put them in the shredder (I had a little cry, first, for all the tragedy and stress and worry of them.)

I will never read or need to read them again. It's time to walk away from those old, scary times. It's time to walk away from this place.

There's been a lot of good here, and some bad.

Either way, it's time to open my hands and let it all go.

(or, it will be time, in 7 days).

 

 

Retirement Thoughts

As of today, I have 10 more days to work (my last day in the office is May 26). Not that I'm counting....Seriously, I'm both sad and happy. And more than a little scared. And deeply interested in the process and how it plays out.

One of the many things I'll miss is the really fantastic spam protection that UNT's IT group has provided over the years. I almost never get spam on my work account, and it's never email about my male organ. My spouse, on the other hand, gets TONS of email spam messages. In the hundreds per day.

However, in the past week the floodgates seem to have opened and I am getting spam of this nature at work:

Pursue Culinary School

Study Cosmetology

Senior Walk-In Tubs

Yacht Rentals

Private Charter Aircraft

Patriot Health Alliance

Breast Augmentation

Arthritis Treatments

Patriot PowerGreens

and finally, and most discouraging,

COPD Relief

They all look sort of alike. I'm so very curious about what the sender(s) think I will be doing in my retirement...that  I'm retiring from the Gottrocks Co.? That I'm 100 years old?

Did HR send my email to these people? or is there a list of retirees that automatically get this stuff? IT is puzzled and looking into it.

To further my paranoia, I also received in this week's mail a wig catalog:

REALLY? Wigs?

I continue to be aware of how excessively privileged I am to have this opportunity to retire at 51. At the same time, I worked hard all these years, with this as my goal during some bad times. I earned it to some extent.

I just want you to know: I'm not wearing any wig. If I go bald, that's how I'll stay.

 

Transitions

3dogmom writes at RevGals:

My life is overflowing with transitions at this time: losing a beloved family homestead, welcoming a new grandchild, starting a new call next month, packing up our home in anticipating of a move 1000 miles away... Those are the markers that are easy to identify. Inner transitions are taking place, too, which leads me to offer this week's Friday  Five:

What transitions are taking place in your life? Consider physical, vocational, spiritual, psychological, educational, geographical... you get the idea. Please share five transitions that are most present  with you at this time in your life.

1. Well, largest and most is that I will be retiring this month. THIS MONTH. After 14 more workdays, I will no longer be employed by the state of Texas nor a university therein; I shall be a retiree.

Following on that,

2. I will be going to the beach for two weeks

Following on that,

3. I will come back from vacation and NOT return to the university. I'll be working for \\\STRIPES/// Parking Lot Service. The goal is to take the burden off of Ken so that he can get out of the office and occasionally do a job himself; also to support Brandon, who does most of the outside work. It will involve answering the phone, talking with customers, managing estimating, invoicing and collections (all in conjunction with our unparalleled part-time accountant, Billy.)

After a few months,

4. I will be starting graduate school all over again. I've been accepted into the MSW program at UT Arlington. For many years I've said that I loved college so much that I never left it, and this is true. So, starting with Fall 2016, I shall be in the 45th grade.

And all in between times,

5. I will be being retired. I will be going to Darlene's 9:15 Jazzercise class 3 days a week. I will be going to restorative yoga some days (they only do it during the week...clearly only retired people need restoration). I will be cooking more, decluttering the house (especially the second floor) and riding motorcycles with Ken. I will go see my parents DURING THE WEEK so I can go to doctor appts. with them, and not just on weekends. I hope to see my grand-girl more.

The emotions of all this are so enormous that I can't begin to describe them. Leaving my profession of 30+ years, leaving colleagues at UNT whom I've known for 19+ years, planning to work at home...planning for a new career...being more available to my family and myself...it's thrilling and it's exhausting. I need to go lie down with a rag on my head...just thinking about it.