Jesus empowers us to embrace our humanity in all of its beautiful complexity. The more we express our humanity in loving, healing, forgiving, serving, and rejoicing, the more our divinity or holiness is revealed.
No definition or doctrine fully captures who Jesus Christ is. We are left with an alluring Mystery. Our deepening desire to know, love, and serve Jesus Christ draws us into this mystery of God becoming human for us.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following grace: to know Jesus more intimately, to love him more intensely, and to follow him more closely.
Why do you suppose he needed two doses? of healing I mean. It reminds me of Naaman who had to wash 7 times. What a mystery God is and presents to us.
"I see people, looking like trees and walking." I very much want this to have some mystic significance. I'm sure if I read commentaries I will find it. But for now I will just think about it.
Read Matthew 5:1–12 (The Beatitudes). The beatitudes express the standard of Christ. Imagine that you are present in the crowd or with the disciples, watching and listening to Jesus. Allow his manner and words to affect you.
It's amazing how this man goes up a mountain to speak to us, and there are so many here and babies crying, and yet we can each hear his words perfectly.
He gives me hope, because what he is saying is about us, about me. "Poor in spirit" - that sounds familiar, with a sick husband who doesn't seem to get better. With a world that seems to be going to hell in a handbasket: health care and Trayvon and Syria and Sudan and at-will.
He says that if I continue to strive for what I've always worked for: clean heart, mercy, righteousness: that I will be given peace.
read the prompt here http://ignatianspirituality.com/ignatian-prayer/the-spiritual-exercises/an-ignatian-prayer-adventure/week-5/ - see Day 4.
(The Opposition Leader): Consider the address he makes to them: How he admonishes them to set up snares and chains; how first they should tempt people to covet riches (as he usually does, at least in most cases), so that they may more easily come to vain honor from the world, and finally to surging pride. In this way, the first step is riches, the second is honor, and the third is pride; and from these three steps the enemy entices them to all the other vices. (SE 142)
***
In contrast, gaze in imagination on the supreme and true leader, who is Christ our Lord. (SE 143) Consider how Christ our Lord takes his place in that great plain near Jerusalem, in an area which is lowly, beautiful, and attractive. (SE 144)
Consider the address that Christ our Lord makes to all his servants and friends whom he is sending on this expedition. He recommends that they endeavor to aid all persons, by attracting them, first, to the most perfect spiritual poverty and also, if the Divine Majesty should be served and should wish to choose them for it, even to no less a degree of actual poverty; and second, by attracting them to a desire of reproaches and contempt, since from these results humility.
In this way there will be three steps: the first, poverty in opposition to riches; the second, reproaches or contempt in opposition to honor from the world; and the third, humility in opposition to pride. Then from these three steps they should induce people to all the other virtues. (SE 146)
The traps I see myself falling in here are fear and sloth.
I'm not much on riches, nor honor (though maybe I'm just not seeing that). But as an Enneagram 9 I tend (in unhealthy movement) toward sloth. And fear is a core operator for me.
I must practice moving, standing up, walking forward toward the thing I want (toward the leader I want to follow) and concentrating on the things that leader wants me to focus on.
The Spiritual Exercises ask us to look at Christ and what he stands for. We’re instructed to imagine him as a good king who brings his forces against the evil king. In today’s world, especially here in the West, we don’t think much in terms of kings and kingdoms. So this imagery can be difficult to integrate with our prayer.
But we can approach it this way. As we observe Jesus in the Gospel accounts, we can learn what was important to him. We can see the desires that drove him—desire to see people healed, whole, and free from the evil pressing in from all around, desire that people be fed, clothed, accepted into the community, loved.
Is this what you desire? Look with clear eyes at Jesus, at what he did in the Gospel accounts, what he said, what he taught. What were his priorities? What were his passions as he dealt with people day in and day out? Does the “kingdom” he brought into reality match in any way the reality you desire for your life and for the larger world?
In other words, is the kingdom of God worth your desire? Do your truest impulses take you toward that kind of reality?
These are not rhetorical questions. Jesus wanted people to consider quite soberly what he stood for and what following him would require—yet another reason for you and me to be in touch with our real desires. Otherwise, we might be saying that we want to follow Jesus when in reality our hearts really aren’t there, at least not yet.
What world did Jesus envision and work toward with his every word and act?
What world do you envision? What “kingdom” are you willing to work toward with everything you have?
This image works much better for me than the imagery of a king that I want to follow with all my heart, which was the first suggestion. Having no personal understanding of a political ruler-king, and feeling very disillusioned with all politicians at this point, that took me nowhere.
This one has taken me on a roller coaster ride!
What did Jesus want? What did Jesus work for?
He wanted everyone to have oppportunities to know community and to be clothed, loved, forgiven and healed. He didn't go to an office or write magazine articles about something else.
What Jesus worked for is nothing like what I work for 40 hours a week, as far as I can tell. And that is sobering and heartbreaking. I've been sitting with this set of considerations for three days now and that is what I come up with.
Continue contemplating the Nativity. Join the shepherds in the countryside and then journey with them to visit the baby Jesus. As you pray through Jesus’ life, you will notice how often he surrounds himself with people like the shepherds—those who are poor and on the margins of society. Rejoicing in the good news of Jesus’ birth, the shepherds become Jesus’ first disciples.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following grace: to know Jesus more intimately, to love him more intensely, and to follow him more closely.
Read
Read Luke 2:8–20. (The Shepherds Visit Jesus) Accompany the shepherds as they hear the good news and visit the baby Jesus.
Glory to God in the Highest is actually Glory to God in the Lowest. Glory to God in the unseen. It seems quite clear.
This is Spring Break Week at my university. All students are gone, and many staff. We had a holiday Monday (blest holiday!) but today we are back, and it appears that I am the only one from my division who is actually working in this building. 'Tis very peaceful so far. Outside the storm is storming, but birds are singing because this rain is here to stay a few days. I'm all alone...
Except that one who serves us, all of us who use this building, is working also. I met our custodian, Dora, today. Most of the custodial staff work early midnight to midday, so if we see them it's largely in the hallways, polishing glass doors or emptying recycle bins. They work in our offices in the early hours of the mornings, when we are still sleeping. I introduced myself to Dora this morning as I came in: somehow I have been here 4 months and apparently have been too busy and full of myself to do that. (I said hello, but to stop and introduce?)
Today's a new day, rainy and spring. I planted a garden this weekend. What may come?
Having rejoiced with Mary in her “yes” to God, we begin to walk with Jesus from his birth, through his hidden life and public ministry, to the foot of the cross at Calvary.
In these weeks, we ask repeatedly for a grace fundamental to the Second Week of the Exercises: “to know Jesus more intimately, to love him more intensely, and to follow him more closely” (SE 104). This idea of the “more”—encapsulated in the Latin word, magis—is vital for Ignatius. The Exercises are intended to tap into a zeal that impels us to more knowledge, love, and service of God and others.
The order of these graces is important. We can rush to find out what our calling in life is, without really knowing the One who calls us. If we focus on first knowing and loving Jesus, then the call to serve becomes clearer and we can approach it with less fear. We really cannot love someone unless we first know him or her on some deeply personal level. Ultimately, it is possible to follow Jesus only if we are rooted in our love for him.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following grace: to know Jesus more intimately, to love him more intensely, and to follow him more closely.
Read
Read Luke 2:1–7. (The Birth of Jesus) Contemplate the scene of Jesus’ birth. Ignatius suggests placing yourself directly in the scene:
See the persons; that is, to see Our Lady, Joseph, the maidservant, and the infant Jesus after his birth. I will make myself a poor, little, and unworthy slave, gazing at them, contemplating them, and serving them in their needs, just as if I were there, with all possible respect and reverence. (SE 114)
The problem is, this scene is WAY too far removed from us, me, now for me to feel comfortable with it. Removed in time, in geography, in custom & tradition and cell phones and animal stalls. I never knew a house without a TV set; the world Jesus was born into might as well be Mars. And, therefore, I feel uncomfortable with it. Foreign to it.
The way you get to know someone, REALLY know someone, so that later when you meet someone else from that place or religious group you are not afraid or put off by the other, is that you do something together. Like, you work a a job together, or build a house, or they are your colleague and you have lunch together and they tell you what it was like to grow up in Pakistan, and what Pakistani wedding customs are.
Of course, the fallacy in that may be that the first person you know is culturally Muslim, where the next one is devout. Also, it's a very surface knowledge
Such that they are learning about Christianity, in a small way, from knowing you, so that in a presentation by Dan Savage where he tells that many gay teens go to churches where they hear from the pulpit that "God Hates Fags," your culturally Muslim colleague leans over and asks if that is said in YOUR church. You want to get offended, because you sure wouldn't be going to THAT church, but they ask because they don't know and are curious.
I think this is what is called, running away from the question.
I'll be back.
***
And now that I'm back, I offer this, from someone who "followed the prompt":
Having rejoiced with Mary in her “yes” to God, we begin to walk with Jesus from his birth, through his hidden life and public ministry, to the foot of the cross at Calvary.
In these weeks, we ask repeatedly for a grace fundamental to the Second Week of the Exercises: “to know Jesus more intimately, to love him more intensely, and to follow him more closely” (SE 104). This idea of the “more”—encapsulated in the Latin word, magis—is vital for Ignatius. The Exercises are intended to tap into a zeal that impels us to more knowledge, love, and service of God and others.
The order of these graces is important. We can rush to find out what our calling in life is, without really knowing the One who calls us. If we focus on first knowing and loving Jesus, then the call to serve becomes clearer and we can approach it with less fear. We really cannot love someone unless we first know him or her on some deeply personal level. Ultimately, it is possible to follow Jesus only if we are rooted in our love for him.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following grace: to know Jesus more intimately, to love him more intensely, and to follow him more closely.
Read
Read Luke 2:1–7. (The Birth of Jesus) Contemplate the scene of Jesus’ birth. Ignatius suggests placing yourself directly in the scene:
See the persons; that is, to see Our Lady, Joseph, the maidservant, and the infant Jesus after his birth. I will make myself a poor, little, and unworthy slave, gazing at them, contemplating them, and serving them in their needs, just as if I were there, with all possible respect and reverence. (SE 114)
For Reflection
Some Insight into Redemption Consider a blissfully happy couple finding all they need in one another. For no other reason than generosity and the desire to share their happiness, they decide to adopt children as their own. From then on their life undergoes a profound change. Now they are vulnerable; their happiness is wrapped up in the welfare of the children; things can never be the same again.
If the children choose to alienate themselves and start on the path to ruin, the couple are stricken. They will plead, humble themselves, make huge sacrifices, go out of themselves to get their loved ones to understand that the home is still their home, that the love they have been given is unchanging.
This perhaps, gives us some insight into redemption. In a mystery we cannot fathom, God “empties,” “loses” Himself, in bringing back to Himself His estranged, lost children. And this is all the Father wants. This is the only remedy for His wound. God is no longer pure God, but always God-with-humanity-in-His-heart.
So, God loves us unconditionally and will always take us back, no matter what I do or say. That's not so hard for me to believe, since I had a mother who was like that (fortunate me!) - it is harder for people who do not have someone in their background who gives that unconditional regard.
Jesus, who are you? Where are you? You love me that same way, right? Some days I feel very close; today, not.
God responds to the “groaning” of creation very concretely. Narrow your imaginative gaze from a broad perspective and focus on the details of how God saves in history: “See in particular the house and rooms of Mary, in the city of Nazareth in the province of Galilee” (SE 103).
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following graces: a deeply felt knowledge of God’s dream for the world; awe and wonder at the mystery of the Incarnation.
Read
Read Luke 1:26–38. (The Annunciation) Imagine the sights, sounds, and smells of the scene, when the angel Gabriel greets the young woman. Listen to their conversation. Notice the expressions on their faces and the movement of their bodies. Conclude by praying a colloquy with Mary.
**
Oh, Mary! Are you all right? This can't possibly be what you had planned.
This certainly is not a fragrant or pleasing room but after the angel was here...that's not really noticeable...like in the Febreze commercials.
Mary, what will your life be like now?
I suppose that's the point...you don't know...and having had the Holy Spirit come over you, you also don't care about those minor details.
How will you go ahead? You have hard choices to make, hard news to give, hard roads to walk.
That Holy Spirit thing clearly has her covered...nothing seems AS hard or AS scary or as huge, when HS has your back.
Mary, how can I get that Holy Spirit thing?
I hear, "Ask and ye shall receive." Okay, I'm asking. And saying "Thank You" right up front.)
Today we read the parable of the prodigal son, a story of sin, mercy, and forgiveness. In this parable, Jesus tells us who the Father is. Notice that the father in the parable is also prodigal—that is, extravagant—with his love. God is always trying to overcome separation. Notice the festivity of the parable. Realize how much joy it brings God when we return home.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following graces: deepening awareness and sorrow for my sins and a heartfelt experience of God’s merciful love for me.
Read
Read Luke 15:11–32 (The parable of the prodigal son and his brother). Consider: How does Jesus’ parable help me understand my own estrangement from God and others? How does it help me appreciate God’s welcome to me, a sinner?
What this calls up for me is the microcosm of God's love and extravagant welcome that I have received and continue to receive from my church home during my time away while Ken was in treatment and the aftermath.
As with any situation (I suppose), the initial outpouring of concern and visits and meals has dropped off. His treatment is over, since August; most people figure that the bad part is well behind us. As my faithful readers know, that's not exactly the case...he's been very sick several times with opportunistic infections that have made him super miserable, and the swallowing progress has been very frustrating and disappointing. My response has been not to leave him for church activities, even though I COULD, because I want to be there for him. I leave him alone all day when I am at work, as it is.
And now that he is feeling a bit better...I definitely don't want to leave him...because here's the personality I missed all those months, back with me!
And yet, there have been ongoing expressions of love and support from church folks: friends who came and sat with us in the hospital for several hours, a request to serve on a committee :) , Facebook messages, emails (one friend continues to send Ken jokes periodically, something I requested back in the summer!). I also have one particular dear friend who makes me feel absolutely included in every way. When I walk back through those doors, Mary Ann will not say, "We haven't seen you in a while..." she will hug my neck and act as if I was never gone. She never gives up, for herself or on anyone else.
When the Jr. Daughters of the King, which she directs, made little Valentine cakes for shut-ins in the congregation, she had them make one for Ken, and she got it to me after a few busy days of trying to reach me. She didn't give up! It was beautiful, and it had fresh flowers on top. He was greatly pleased and impressed, and he ate part of it on a day when he hadn't been able to get much else down. It was, therefore, a gift to me as well.
That quality of faith that I will be back, and never giving up on me, that is what God has. God doesn't call me up and pester me when I am away...God just is there, doing what God does. And I see God in Mary Ann today. I am grateful for the quiet waiting and for the extravagant welcome. Thanks be to God.
Today we turn from reflection on sin to reflection on Jesus, who restored us to the Father. We consider the suffering Jesus on the cross.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following grace: a healthy sense of shame and confusion before God as I consider the effects of sin in my life, my community, and my world.
Read
Read Romans 5:1–11 (“God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us”).
A Meditation Before the Cross
Imagine Christ our Lord suspended on the cross before you, and converse with him in a colloquy: How is it is that he, although he is the Creator, has come to make himself a human being? How is it that he has passed from eternal life to death here in time, and to die in this way for my sins?
In a similar way, reflect on yourself and ask: What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What ought I do for Christ?
In this way, too, gazing on him in so pitiful a state as he hangs on the cross, speak out whatever comes to your mind.
—Spiritual Exercises 53
This reminds me of the time that Nancy and I watched Ben-Hur together on TV. We were around 8 and 10 years old and throughout most of the movie we were very scared and upset by the "lepreus" which was how we understood the word "leprosy" (the disease which plays a large part in the film).
But then, at the end...Jesus is crucified. I had never really understood what that meant before, and I was HORRIFIED. I ran to my room and sobbed and sobbed on the bed, and I said, "Jesus, I'm so sorry! I didn't know!" Somehow the movie had made clear to me that it was MY sin that caused that to happen to him.
(Old Ben-Hur is feeling pretty upset at this point, too).
I haven't seen Ben-Hur since. I think I will do so this Lent.
In considering this through the day yesterday, I thought about what I have done for Christ. That a question makes it easy to beat yourself with the answer, which is clearly: not enough.
Does church attendance and service "count"? I've done a good bit of that, though not so much lately. Well, that's really works, isn't it?
What am I doing for Christ? what ought I to do for Christ?
Right now I am working on connecting and listening. It doesn't seem like much, but it seems like a first step in the process of figuring out something like answers.
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