Terrapin Station

Change of heart

So, a while back I made a decision: I was not going to attend my parents' church any more. You can read about it here.

And the next time I went to visit, I didn't go to church. And no one died.

And then, as I prepared for a weekend visit last week, I remembered something about growing up with my dad:

when the introduction to the hymn starts playing, he sings or hums along. Yep, during the introduction, the part during which you are supposed to be quiet. When I was little I would say, "Daddy! you aren't supposed to sing now!" He would grin at me and keep doing it. It was embarrassing.

Now-a-days, both of my parents do it. But I don't find it embarrassing. I really find it quite endearing. Especially in my father, who does very few things that he is not supposed to do.

I realized that if I didn't go to church, I would miss that. So I went on Sunday.

If I had not gone, I would have missed the early singing...and I would also have missed hearing my dad serve as lector, to read from Job 19:23-27:

O that my words were written down!
O that they were inscribed in a book!
O that with an iron pen and with lead
they were engraved on a rock forever!
For I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that at the last he will stand upon the earth;
and after my skin has been thus destroyed,
then in my flesh I shall see God,
whom I shall see on my side
and my eyes shall behold, and not another.

What a treasure, to hear that witness, and those words that I know he means with all his heart. He is 88 years old; and if he died this afternoon, he would be quite ready.

My parents raised me as a Christian, and as a lover of music. We all took guitar lessons together and went places toting four guitar cases, playing in the Folk Mass at church. Those formative things in my life have very much made me who I am, and I will always have them to treasure. Going to church together is a gift. I am grateful for it.

Kicking Butt (off?)

Here is the Gospel for today:

Matthew 18:15-20

Jesus said, "If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them."

Well, now, that's a hard teaching, no?  I've read some awfully good sermons on this text about telling hard truths.  Gentle Jesus meek and mild, my butt.  He shows up and kicks ass and tells it like it is. 

Yesterday I had to hear a hard truth, and I had some help.  Here's what happened.

I've been trying the Six Week Body Makeover (yes, as seen on TV) and I was so excited about it and hopeful.  I did a good bit of research on it first and it didn't seem unhealthy, and I thought, "I can do anything for six weeks!" 

I have been desperately frustrated by my seeming unwillingness to follow Weight Watchers, a plan which works well for me IF I DO IT, and I know this because I've been a Lifetime Member three times.   The first time I lost the weight, I kept it off for 10 years.  It does the job! 

Without going into a lot of detail about the 6WBMO, I'll say that while it apparently works wonders for many people, I could not stick it.  I found it restrictive and troublesome, and it made me angry.  And hungry.  And I'm not good with those things. 

So yesterday, after a bad Friday night and a bad Saturday morning, I called my sister Sarah.  I wanted to whine about the program, and I was kind of embarrassed that I had bought into the people crying on the TV but I knew she would not care about that and would tell me the truth. 

So, I told her what a terrible time I was having, wah wah wah.  And she said, "Why are you doing that?" 

and the more I said about it, the more she said the same thing.  At one point she said, "So, what do you WANT me to tell you?" 

and I stopped.  Part of me wanted her to tell me to quit!  But just because she is my big sister doesn't mean she needs to tell me what to do.  I am a big girl.  I can tell myself what to do. 

And I told myself: 

• This does not feel good. 

• My body does not like it. 

• You are not happy with this program. 

• There is another way. 

• You can make this change.

• Stopping is not shameful. 

So I stopped. 

Back to Jazzercise this afternoon.  I mean it! 

Dear Taco Bell,

As an aficionado/addict of your food for many years, who is trying to lose some of the extra pounds that your Mexican Pizzas have brought my way,

I am writing to praise and acclaim the Fresco Menu - 9 items ranging from 3 to 7 points.  Today for lunch I had a Fresco Burrito Supreme, Chicken - a cool six WW points for lunch.  That works for me! 

Bad Words

bad words

bad words

many bad words

I went to WW today to weigh in and in my first week I lost 0.4 lb.

That's all.  Four tenths of a freakin' pound.  And I tracked everything...and stayed in my points range...and I worked out a bunch of times.  *snif snif*

Yeah, yeah.  I know.  Positive self talk, and all that.  It's progress, and all that.  At least I lost and didn't gain. 

And, to think, I was just over at Songbird's place yesterday giving her all sorts of cheerful advice that probably made her want to smack me upside the head. 

Well, see?  what comes around, goes around. 

EDITED TO ADD: 

All right, now I'm ashamed & have to make a gratefulness list.

• I lost 0.4 lbs
• I get to go to knitting camp AGAIN! with my mom and niece this weekend (read all about the 2006 camp here)
• I have clean underpants
• I have a Sonic Diet Cherry Limeade (1 point) and I am eating the ice.  Yummmm.
• Blogfriends!