Terrapin Station

Friday Five: The Week in Review

Sally set this Friday Five at RevGals, but I wasn't able to do it then. Taking a quick minute to look within and see:

This week, what has

Encouraged you? The messages of support, particularly when we were stuck in the Tallahassee airport for 6+ hours on Thursday. Those are times when you need to feel less alone and the Facebookies came through for me!!!

Inspired you? The staff of the Tallahassee airport who went above and beyond to make us feel as comfortable as possible during the long wait. They brought out airport cookies, bottled water and ice...but also several boxes of Girl Scout cookies that I am certain were personally owned by one of them. They carried cookies around to the passengers in serving trays made of coffee filters. :) The airport kept the snack bar open for an extra 2 hours so we could get dinner, and the staff there could not have been more cheerful and helpful, given the unanticipated Friday night overtime.

Challenged you? Helping my mom get (as smoothly as possible) to the funeral of her sister, where there was significant potential for very nasty conflict, and staying centered and NOT in a place of fear. It all turned out well. God is gracious and oh, people are generally so gracious too.

Made you smile? Spending time with a cousin that I have never known well and finding a real kindred spirit. She is the daughter of my mother's favorite cousin. Wonderful symmetry.

Brought a lump in your throat or a tear to your eye in a good way? Seeing my only maternal first cousins (Aunt Nancy's children) again...it has been many years, at least 20. Hearing Mother Terri say those words at the graveside: "We are all dust, and to dust we shall return; but even as we go down to the grave we make our song: Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia."

Turning the corner

This is the week when Ken turned the corner.

(A pause while you all jump up and down madly at home).

So, just for the record, he had:

2 full months of treatments (daily radiation and weekly chemo with a small break to be in the hospital, yuck) June 20 to August 22.

then he had:

2 months of feeling horrible and worse, from August 23 to October 16.

And then Monday of this past week the visiting nurse said, "what do you want to do?" and he said, "Ride the Rocket."

So they went outside and he rode up and down our street while she watched. We're gonna bronze that nurse.

Every day this week he has gotten better. Yesterday he drove to Aubrey with friends and picked up the motorcycle in the shop and rode it home. No, he probably wasn't ready for it, but he did it. And later in the day he rode to Krum to an auto show at the Sonic. (Could I make this up?) It was the first time he's gone anywhere (besides to doctor appointments) without me since this started. And that was good.

And this morning he reported "the best night so far" and "I feel good." I am definitely hesitant to report this because he has often felt really bad after feeling good. 2 good days in a row seems like impossible fortune.

I am still blenderizing his food and he is more than ready to start eating again, but swallowing therapy is needed first. Seems strange to have to learn to swallow again, when we were most of us born knowing instinctively how to do it. But radiation causes physiological changes, as does lack of use.

We've run into some challenges with the feeding tube for the first time this weekend (that's right, just when everything else is going so well). Nothing I can't fix. We'd both like to be done with this part. But that's ok. I still heart my VitaMix and figuring out how to do it best or right or somehow.

Last night we watched The Green Lantern on PPV. Good movie, clearly made from a comic strip. I decided that anything that Sheldon Cooper likes enough to wear on his shirt so often was worth a look.

Thanks for sticking with us. We're going to make it!!!

Happiest Thing of This Summer - Amy's Ordination

Bishop Ohl introducing Deacon Amy Haynie and her family.  Click here for more pictures.

Earlier today I had occasion to look up the website for the church where Amy is now serving, where she was ordained Deacon in May.  I found that they have a wonderful section of photos of the ordination (click above) and looking at them made me so, SO happy.  That was a wonderful, happy day, one of the very best of this long icky summer.  I'm so grateful I was able to be there and participate. 

God is good.  I needed these memories today. 

I'm still here

Things have been a little crazy here the last several weeks.  But all is well, and all shall be well. 

Ken went to NYC with me when I attended a Fulbright workshop at the Institute for International Education (across the street from the UN).  We had 4 days and spent a wonderful time together.   It was his first time to the city and only my second, so there was a lot of exploring to do!  He even rode the carousel in Central Park with me.  What a guy. 

I'm participating in a Spirituality and Practice e-course led by Joan Chittister on her new book/website about Monasteries of the Heart.  It's an introduction to the Benedictine Rule of Life.  The lessone I just listened to explains that the term "rule" comes from the Latin "regla" which doesn't indicate a law, but a rail or a guide.  The Rule of Benedict is meant to point us to the end...to help us see the way. 

I was sharing a difficult situation with a co-worker who is Muslim (although describes self as "culturally" one and not "religious.")  She said, "well, you have a very strong faith and it will help you."  I wonder what she perceives in me that tells her that? 

There is so much in the world that is scary and awful.  There is heartbreaking joy, beauty and understanding.  I am awed. 

Pray with me for the PC(USA), for Kirstin waiting for word on a clinical trial at UCSF, for Amy preparing for ordination.  For those who are ill and ask for privacy; for those who rejoice and dare not say so. 

This video is rocking my world today.

Alleluia in Lent

The first time I did it, I was 26. 

I was in Boston for a training session, and prior to the first event, I had some wandering time to myself.  It was Ash Wednesday, so I looked up the Episcopal cathedral and went for service. 

It was the first time I saw a female priest (!!! and that's a whole 'nother story!!!).  And it was the first time I really HEARD the Gospel from the Ash Wednesday liturgy. 

It's, like, crazy, man!  It says "do one thing," (wash your face, smile, don't complain)  and then the liturgy leads us to completely do another (get ashes on your face and walk around with them on you all day long).  WHAT!?

So I got my ashes, and I rode the train back to my hotel, thinking about that paradox, and noticing that I seemed to fit right in, in Catholic Boston; more people had ashes than didn't.  In my hotel room, I met my roommate and we watched TV news together.  The Gulf War was on and that night SCUD missiles were falling in Israel.  I learned that she was Jewish. 

Before we left for the opening reception, I washed off my forehead ashes.  My roommate hadn't remarked on them before, but she said, "I thought you were supposed to leave those on!"  I said, "I don't think there's really a rule about it." 

There's not.  And ever since then, I've washed away those ashes as soon as possible after I've received them.  It's important to me to get them, and to remember my mortality and that of those I love, and those I DON'T love, and everyone in the world.  To participate with my faith community in that liturgy.  And then, it's time to move on. 

The whole Ash Wednesday liturgy is a church history thing...not a Jesus thing.  It's a tradition, a practice.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say to do the things we do.  That doesn't mean they are bad; but it does mean we might want to look at them with new eyes to see how they really work for us.  In my tradition, we "bury the Alleluias" and do not use the word during Lent.  And mercy, does THAT sometimes get to be silly.  If it's accidentally uttered, oh no!  such comment!  We refer to it as "the a-word."  Oy. 

 

I don't "give up" things for Lent anymore, either.  It ends up not meaning much to me besides a contest of wills, which becomes an obsession.  I know that I can have the strongest will in the world; it's a way of showing off to myself.  But that doesn't get me any closer to Jesus. (My friend Songbird wrote a great homily from which I borrow the "show-off" language.) 

 Yesterday I posted a link about a positive way of looking at Lent.  And that really "hit me where I live" later,  in reading  my friend Kirstin's latest blog post.  Kirstin has metastatic melanoma.  She's been living (and I mean LIVING) with this disease for three years now and blogging her journey. She writes, for Ash Wednesday: 

I need to claim Easter now, because I have no idea if I’ll be here on the liturgical date. My hope is in the Resurrection; I’ll be damned if I’m putting that off for six weeks because the church tells me it’s time to. I’m with the Orthodox; why are we ever proscribed from praising? God’s nature does not change because of our season. 

What am I doing for Lent? Saying alleluia and living in the moment. Seizing the joys that I can find. Looking for perfect nows. Spending time with friends. Being alive and awake in love.

And I say, with Kristin and for Kristin, and for all of us in the world and our fears and pains and hopes:   Even at the grave we make our song:  Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.