For those of you who did not have a good relationship with your mother, or whose mother has died or ...well... for those of you who do not have happy associations with the topic of Mother's Day...
then please take this not as a Mother's Day post, but as my tribute to a really amazing woman who is my mother, on a day that is near the one about mothers.

My mother is a great gift to me. She knows me in ways I don't know myself. She is a place of tremendous comfort and security and peace.
I read yesterday that mothers were the scrapbook keepers of our lives. I also read, long ago, a statement that "after my mother died, no one else ever listened to me with such perfect attention." That's always resounded for me. I could read the phone book and my mom would think it was amazing. She is convinced that one day I will write books, although I cannot imagine this as I have nothing to say in book form at present. But she is usually right, so we'll wait to see on that one.
When I was little, my mom was able to stay home with us, and then she started back to practicing speech pathology at the preschool where we went. We couldn't have afforded the tuition there without her salary, I'm sure. I remember one day I fell down and bumped my head. The substitute teacher was taking me back to the nurse's office and instead I headed for the door where I knew my mom's classroom was. The teacher was very confused! I opened the door and sure enough, there was my mom, with a student. She comforted me and took me home. That's what it feels like to go to my mom: she is always present.
Things weren't easy for her. She had 6 kids, 2 of them stepkids (really great stepkids!) and at one point our ages ranged from preschool to law school. She was Girl Scout cookie chairman for many years. She ran the junior choir and a kids' group at our church for several years that gave us wonderful opportunities to put on musicals, go camping, etc.
When I was little, she was the funnest and coolest mom of all the moms. She had this awesome face she used to make upon request and we would all shriek and scream with delight. But, she could only make it once a day! Way to keep your audience wanting more!
Last time I visited, I went to wake her up for church, and I sat on the edge of the bed and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's time to wake up!" She BOLTED upright (at eighty she doesn't usually move that fast!) - I think I must have caught her completely off guard, because I haven't called her anything but Mom or Mother for years.
She always worked; when I was in elementary school & junior high, it was in in a back bedroom in our house; when I went to college, she got an office in a steel & glass building on Westheimer. I was amazed the first time I visited her there and realized she was a professional. Oh, yes, she was, and she had been all along. I just didn't know it.
She has a lot of physical problems, but she has more enthusiasm for life than any other dozen folks you meet in a day. She was looking for a piece of jewelry to show to me last weekend and was frustrated that she couldn't find it. Right before I left, she spied it hanging on a jewelry display and LURCHED toward it. This caused her to almost fall over, but I caught her! But, she was so excited to find it, that she forgot to remember that she can't be leaping around like she used to.
She blogs, at West Texas Weaver Woman. She is on Facebook. The other day I checked in on Facebook as being at Spa Pedicures, and she commented, "You go, girl!"
This is the hard part to write. Because my mother and I are so deeply connected, and because she worries so much when I am in pain, the last year has been very hard. I have been putting all my emotional energy into caring and being present for my husband during his illness, and I was not only physically unable to visit every month, as usual, but emotionally I did not have the capacity to be open to her. I am not sure I can explain that. But I am grateful that it is over, and I want to apologize to her for the pain I know it caused.
I love you, Mom. Thank you for always supporting and loving me, even when I have not responded in the ways I wanted to.
Mary Bethie
Recent Comments