What Have I Done for Christ?
Today we turn from reflection on sin to reflection on Jesus, who restored us to the Father. We consider the suffering Jesus on the cross.
The Grace I Seek
I pray for the following grace: a healthy sense of shame and confusion before God as I consider the effects of sin in my life, my community, and my world.
Read
Read Romans 5:1–11 (“God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us”).
A Meditation Before the Cross
Imagine Christ our Lord suspended on the cross before you, and converse with him in a colloquy: How is it is that he, although he is the Creator, has come to make himself a human being? How is it that he has passed from eternal life to death here in time, and to die in this way for my sins?
In a similar way, reflect on yourself and ask:
What have I done for Christ?
What am I doing for Christ?
What ought I do for Christ?
In this way, too, gazing on him in so pitiful a state as he hangs on the cross, speak out whatever comes to your mind.
—Spiritual Exercises 53
This reminds me of the time that Nancy and I watched Ben-Hur together on TV. We were around 8 and 10 years old and throughout most of the movie we were very scared and upset by the "lepreus" which was how we understood the word "leprosy" (the disease which plays a large part in the film).
But then, at the end...Jesus is crucified. I had never really understood what that meant before, and I was HORRIFIED. I ran to my room and sobbed and sobbed on the bed, and I said, "Jesus, I'm so sorry! I didn't know!" Somehow the movie had made clear to me that it was MY sin that caused that to happen to him.
(Old Ben-Hur is feeling pretty upset at this point, too).
I haven't seen Ben-Hur since. I think I will do so this Lent.
In considering this through the day yesterday, I thought about what I have done for Christ. That a question makes it easy to beat yourself with the answer, which is clearly: not enough.
Does church attendance and service "count"? I've done a good bit of that, though not so much lately. Well, that's really works, isn't it?
What am I doing for Christ? what ought I to do for Christ?
Right now I am working on connecting and listening. It doesn't seem like much, but it seems like a first step in the process of figuring out something like answers.
I'll keep you posted.
