Terrapin Station

What are you Reading These Days?

As I admitted to my Sunday School class recently, while some people strive to read a certain number of books a year and post them on their blogs...I don't do that.  Because, while reading has been my great friend and solace, it can also be my place of utter checking-out.  And I read a lot.  Really a lot.  So I don't keep track (though maybe I should?  that's a new idea.) 

Anyway.  Terri at Seeking Authentic Voice was asking "what are you reading these days?" and I answered at length in her comments about one of my favorite authors.  Thought I'd bring that over here, too. 

For some grand mysteries, check out Susan Wittig Albert.  She's done several series. My favorite is the China Bayles series about a former lawyer who runs an herb shop in a small Texas town. There are 19 in the series now...and I saw on her Facebook wall that she is working on a contract for more.  Yay!

She has two new series: The Cottage Tales of Beatrix Potter, (not nearly as twee as it sounds, great historical fiction), and also The Darling Dahlias.

Also love the Robin Paige Victorian-Edwardian mysteries ... Robin Paige is the "author" but the books are written by Susan and her husband, Bill Albert.

AND, her non-fiction is great too. Spiritual writing, nature writing.  She is a former University administrator who escaped. :)  I loves her work.

In addition, she is a great champion of women finding their voices.  She founded the Story Circle Network ("for women with stories to tell") in 1997 and it is now a flourishing 501(c)(3) group offering workshops, contests, blogging, conferences, and podcasts. 

AND, she's a blogger. 

Definitely worth a look.

Friday Five: Spiritual Practices

My Sunday school class has hit the "pause" button on our study of First Corinthians and is spending Lent on Richard J. Foster's classic Celebration of Discipline. I have had this wonderful and very readable book on my shelf, along with the study guide for it, for years, but have never discussed it with a group.

Because there are only five Sundays in Lent, we are fairly galloping through the book, getting a quick introduction to the various disciplines. The church is also sponsoring a Lenten Centering Prayer group, allowing some of us to sample this discipline in community.

Following the image above, I like to think of the spiritual disciplines as vessels that prepare us to ride the wave of God's amazing love and presence in a new way.

For today's Friday Five, please share with us five spiritual practices or disciplines from your experience. They can be ones that you have tried and kept up with, tried and NOT kept up with, ones that you flirt with at various times, or even practices that you have tried and found are definitely NOT your cup of tea. Let us know what's worked for you...and not.

Prayer:  I pray by writing names on scraps of paper...by putting my hand on the computer monitor and praying when a request comes in through e-mail...by listening to birds at the pond near my house.  I am trying the Centering prayer technique too, trying to sit for 10 minutes each morning. 

Solitude:  As an introvert, this is very natural to me; however, I have to watch that I don't immediately fill my solitary time with jabber...even worthy things like reading, NPR, etc. 

Fasting:  I can't fast from food.  As a person with a history of disordered eating, I determined many years ago that food is something I don't need to jack around with.  There are lots of other ways of fasting. 

Study:  For Lent, I'm studying a book called 40-day Journey with Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  It's the Diocese of Georgia's 1Book, 1 Diocese selection for Lenten study.  I'm doing this with my friend Cathy and it's been a rich exploration.  I'm also reading the Eric Metaxas bio of Bonhoeffer on the side.

Simplicity:  Especially since coming home from the RevGals BE, I seem to be consumed with the need to cull and simplify the THINGS in my home.  I tend to be a pack rat...Many years ago I had a house fire, and when I went to the recovery company to sort through some books, they were SHOCKED that I was 30 years old.  They had been thinking of me, based upon my possessions, as an old, old lady.  Well, I did have the detritus of several households of deceased relatives...who had been old ladies...but it showed me that I had a lot of old weird stuff that was not serving me well.  I don't want that, either now or when I AM an old, old lady.  Time to start!  As I do the culling, I say to myself, "More room for the Spirit to move." 

(I'm not sure why the Spirit would want to be in my clothes closet, but anyway...)

 

RevGals on God Complex Radio

Go over to God Complex Radio and hear about one of my great passions in life:  RevGalBlogPals! 

Click here for the link to GCR.

 

Jazzercise Made me think of this...

My last post about Jazzercise reminded me of something important.

In addition to the physical and emotional benefits of doing Jazzercise, I realize that it's a community of mine, and an important one, even though I don't have any close friends who attend there. Going there makes me feel happy: I am with positive people who are doing something good for themselves, taking time away from their busy schedules to do so. They are an example to me!

I have been thinking a lot about community in recent weeks, especially after the RevGals BE and conversations about what is community, what is church.  What is ours to do about our friends who don't attend a church and see no need to? 

My friend, Rev. Teri Peterson (she blogs at Clever Title Here) preached an amazing sermon in January. You can read it here.   AND, you can see her preach it here.  Worth your listening time.  The rest of this post won't make sense unless you watch or read...

    It's great. 

After that Sunday, Teri expressed surprise and some concern afterward because many people told her it was "her best sermon ever." She didn't know what made it so good; in fact, she didn't think it    was even in her top three. But I thought it was amazing.

Why did it whack ME between the eyes? Partly because she told her own personal story, which I happen to like as a homiletical tool. And partly because her story is really pretty fascinating and amazing, and she PREACHES THE WORD with it. 

And partly it hit me: because of my BFF. She has attended some special music or holiday events at church with me, but she is an agnostic (raised Catholic).  She is not interested in any church, anywhere.  Not in a box, not with a fox. 

She also will not drink the Jazzercise kool-aid with me. I've invited her to try it many times, but she is sure she would hate it; she doesn't like that kind of exercise, she likes to go to the gym. Okay, I can respect that. I just mention it sometimes, when there is a special or free classes. Because, there are some other things I suggested to her, that she didn't think she would like, and they have turned out to work really WELL. (And some have NOT and that's a whole other story from Big Idea Woman...).  And, selfishly, I'd love her to like it too, and go with me sometimes.  (I cannot lie.)

Back to inviting people to church:  I respect the fact that BFF is an agnostic. And so I don't invite her to come to regular services with me, because I don't want to offend her.  Because that's not how I was raised, and I don't want be an "annoying Christian." 

So if I am more willing to "evangelize" for Jazzercise than for church...what's that say?

Just pondering. 

Getting Back to Jazzercise

I've been doing Jazzercise for more than 12 years.  I count it by Ken's and my relationship, because when we were dating we would go to Brandon's roller hockey games and practices at the Spinning Wheels Roller Rink in Denton.  Jazzercise had classes there that ended just before the kids went out on the floor, and I got interested, and it seemed like it would be convenient to work out and then meet the guys there for events.  (That never really happened, BTW; I ended up going at different times.) 

I remember when I first did JC, it was hard to get into the movements (although, like any child of the 70's and 80's, I'd done plenty of aerobics,  Jane Fonda LP, anyone?).  But once I did, they were there in my body's "hard drive" and doing new routines became easy and enjoyable.  And the instructors talked to us, and told us stories, and it was funny and fun.  I liked it. 

Another important part of why JC works for me is that people wear whatever (from fancy workout clothes to schlumpy shorts and t-shirts), and there are NO mirrors in the studios.  I think that is a franchise rule.  I do NOT need to be watching myself work out...it causes me to think mean things (about me!) or competitive things, and frankly, none of that is productive or my business.  My current studio has 2 smoked-glass windows separating it from the next room, and I am careful to position myself in the room where I can't look over and see me. 

Over the years, I had some significant breaks from JC, for both good and dumb reasons.  Going back was always hard, but every time there was the little spark of joy I'd find when I realized I was enjoying it again, and then eventually I'd start finding ways to make the workout more effective...paying attention to form rather than just slogging through it.  Getting to that point feels completely awesome. 

I took a long break after a knee injury a few years ago, and I've never really gotten back into the routine of going to class for a significant period of time.  And, unhappy about the resultant weight gain, I was just getting there again in Spring last year when my right shoulder and arm started to hurt.  Doctors advised me against Jazzercise until we figured out what it was.  An MRI showed a pinched nerve in my neck. I tried all that they had to offer:  Physical therapy and drugs. Nope.  On my own, I sought out acupuncture, chiropractic, and massage.  All helped, briefly.  Nothing helped over the long term. 

In the meantime I had gained MORE weight (oy) and saw pictures of myself from the RevGals BE (AUGH!) and so I thought, "why not...if it makes my shoulder worse, so be it."  So I went back to Jazzercise.  And man, it is harder than ever to get back into it: because I am heavier than ever, because I now have a "trick" knee to watch out for, because I need to watch my posture to make sure my shoulder is not in the funny place it sometimes goes. 

And yet: while it's taking longer to get to that sweet spot of enjoyment, I can see it ahead of me.  Yesterday's morning class was a blast; all the music was energetic and fun, and I had a great time.  My mother will often say, "Be sure you sing that hymn at my funeral!" and I had a passing thought during class to ask the instructor afterward, "Hey, will you do that set at my funeral? 

Hmm, Jazzercise at a funeral.  Not bad.  If you had Jazzercisers at your funeral. 

There's a woman who comes to class there named Pat, and I do believe she is in her 70's.  She comes to many, many classes, often more than one a day.  I understand she also swims for exercise.  Pat modifies some of the movements (as I also do, now) to meet her physical abilities...but she is THERE.  I want to be Pat.  I want to be showing up and moving my body when I am 78.  God willing! 

I am really grateful to the folks who have been at Denton Jazzercise for a long time who always welcome me back warmly when I show up, and don't say, "where the hell have you been!?"  The answer is generally clear on my body...I've been out there falling into disrepair. 

And, hey, you know what?  My shoulder is GETTING BETTER.  Without the drugs.  So there.

Friday Five: Spring Forward

Jan gives us this Friday Five at RevGals: 

Whether we liked it or not, we all "sprang forward" with the change to daylight savings time in the USA this past Sunday. There is lightness and brightness slipping in as spring approaches, so let us consider what is springing forth in our lives right now.

Name 5 things that are springing forth, possibly including :

• what you hope for
• what you dread
• what you observe
• what is concrete
• what is intangible

Hope:  I hope for an ease to the angst of our world.  Always, I hope this; but right now it seems like everything is going to pieces.  (I heard a news anchor say yesterday, "The Middle East is literally imploding."  (Literally?  No, "I think that word does not mean what you think it means.")  In any case, so much pain and destruction, so much suffering.  Things only seem to get worse.  I am holding onto hope. 

Dread:  Ummmm...I dread that things will keep getting worse.  I unfortunately get to hear a lot of the right-wing scare-monger stuff and folks, it's not pretty.  I am holding onto hope. 

Observe:  I observe that in general, people are kind and considerate of one another and want to help. 

Concrete: This is really a hard one!  Nothing seems very concrete at this point.  I guess I would say books, information, knowledge.  The value of education. 

Intangible:  The work that God is doing in my life and in the lives of those I love.  What a grace, what a gift to witness it. 

How I fell in love with Children's Church

"The 8:30 service is a Rite II liturgy using a blended contemporary style of music and worship, designed to be friendlier to families with small children. The 8:30 Adult Choir leads the worship with anthems, piano and of course the Annunciation Memorial Pipe Organ."  (so sayeth our church website.)

I switched to this earlier (for me) service several months ago.  I attend service and then Sunday School and then head home.  I appreciate the music (much of it drawn from Gather, a Catholic hymnal) and seeing kids in worship.  But as far as I can see, the service isn't much different than the 11:00, except it doesn't have incense, bells, or all 3-scriptures-plus-a-psalm.  

So, a few weeks ago I sat behind a friend and her 2 small granddaughters (maybe 3 and 5) and found myself tempted to get frustrated because of the distraction they provided.  Given my own inattentiveness issues, I was finding it hard to stay focused on the sermon.  Then I thought, "HEY!  Why should those little ones even have to be in church for the sermon? Dullsville!"  (I've never seen anything like an in-service Children's sermon in our parish.)  I remembered that we used to have Children's Church during this service and wondered, "where did it go?" 

Now, I am definitely of the school of thought that kids belong in church with their families...the reason that the liturgy and many scriptures live in me so deeply is that I was required from an early age to be in church and be still.  (And no, I was NOT allowed to bring a book.  :P)  However, the fact that I did it doesn't mean that other kids should have to do what I did, or will get what I did from it.  If there's a different way that we can meet them on their level, then I'm all about that.  And I always had plenty of age-appropriate and FUN options to supplement Sunday morning worship (props to my Mom for that.) 

So that morning I made lots of notes on the bulletin about the questions I had, and I spent the rest of the service enjoying the fact that A and her little girls were there at all...surely not the most serene worship experience for any of them, but she brought them.  I felt so grateful for that.  

I made a mental note to ask, "Hey!  Whatever happened to Children's Church at the 8:30?"  Then the next week, I heard in the announcements that Children's Church was starting back up for kids 3 and up, and that help was needed. 

And here is the crazy thing:  I immediately grabbed my phone and emailed the CE director (who was actually sitting one pew behind me) and offered to help.  (I've never worked with young children in church before.  I've been a high-school Sunday school teacher, and a youth group sponsor.)  I didn't take time to pray about it; I just did it...I guess on the theory that if I had spent that much time thinking about it, I needed to step up there. 

So, we began on Lent 1.  It was the first day of Spring Break and also the first day of Daylight Saving Time.  The service was sparse in general, but we had three children join us:perfect!  My colleague Miss Liz and I went to the chapel with the children and went through a simplified liturgy:   Lighting candles, singing, saying The Children's Creed and The Lord's Prayer.  Miss Liz read the gospel from a Children's Bible and talked with the kids about the temptations of Christ in the wilderness.  They listened, they heard, they remembered what she said and answered in the conversation afterward.  They were amazing!  One boy told us confidently, "You know, no human being could EVEN survive longer than 30 days without food!"  Miss Liz didn't argue with him or give him any platitudes either.  She just agreed that it would be very hard.  They all held hymnals, read the words, and sang along to "Forty Days and Forty Nights."  We returned to church just after the sermon and the prayers of the people. 

I needed that.  A new frame for worship.  A new community to worship with. A new way of being church.  I am blessed.

Friday Five: All About Cars!

A little break from weightier matters.

Singing Owl gives us this fun Friday Five at RGBP: 

Maybe it's just me, but I often remember how long ago someting occured or something about it by recalling the car we had at the time. For today's Friday Five, tell us about the cars in your life. Maybe we can even tempt some of the guys of the ring to join us. Specifically, tell us about:

 

1. The earliest recollection you have of a family car:  Ooh, we had a dark green Pontiac station wagon, kind of like this.  My mom made these zipper covers for foam pads so we could lie in the back...we took these 1000 mile trips to Florida each year.  This was before seatbelts, so much...!  How did we ever survive it?

2. The first car you drove when you could (legally) get behind the wheel yourself:  You only want to know the legal driving?  Okay, then:  I think it was another Pontiac station wagon, this one dark blue. 

3. A memorable road trip:  Cue thunder.  It's 4 am and my father and I are standing by the side of the road in a North Florida woods.  We are digging through a trailer for something (I think it was a map).  He says, morosely, "This is the worst trip I've ever been on."   I laugh, maniacally.

We moved my parents from their home in Houston to my mom's family beach house in Florida in 1989.  It took 2 prior trips wtih full U-hauls, and this trip was a caravan with a U-haul truck and three or four vehicles, all of which had U-haul trailers attached.  IT JUST WOULDN'T ALL FIT. 

On that memorable trip:  We were delayed in leaving; we took a wrong turn and ended up in New Orleans rush hour traffic; I was driving a standard shift car with a trailer attached, in New Orleans rush hour traffic; my brother-in-law got lost from our group in Pensacola, occasioning much searching and panic (yet he managed to find his own way there, despite having been there only once before); we took a wrong turn in the forest and thus were looking for a map at 4 am...

We draw a veil over the rest of the scene.  Gently. 

4. The car you drive now. Love it? Hate it?:  I loves my car!  It's a 2006 New Beetle, grey.  I always keep flowers in the holder (my favorite part).  It is diesel and has great pick-up, and can tow anything (Ken's favorite part). 

5. An interesting story that involves you and a vehicle:   (No, I do not have a dirty mind!)  The first car I owned was a 1975 Plymouth Valiant, turquoise blue with a white vinyl top (mine was a darker blue than this).  I loved it, too.  (I've loved all my cars.)  I used to change my own oil in it, which I learned to do from a book.  I was supremely unqualified to work on the car, but I always tried.   I also replaced my own headlights and tried to work on the carburetor (ha!)  The car was named Dino, after Dino the Dinosaur from The Flintstones, because when you started it it made a noise just like Dino's...bark?  It originally belonged to my brother-in-law (a different one) and he sold it to me for $300.  

***crickets***

okay, as my son would say, "Great story, MB!"  Maybe it's not fascinating, but I liked it.  ;) 

Alleluia in Lent

The first time I did it, I was 26. 

I was in Boston for a training session, and prior to the first event, I had some wandering time to myself.  It was Ash Wednesday, so I looked up the Episcopal cathedral and went for service. 

It was the first time I saw a female priest (!!! and that's a whole 'nother story!!!).  And it was the first time I really HEARD the Gospel from the Ash Wednesday liturgy. 

It's, like, crazy, man!  It says "do one thing," (wash your face, smile, don't complain)  and then the liturgy leads us to completely do another (get ashes on your face and walk around with them on you all day long).  WHAT!?

So I got my ashes, and I rode the train back to my hotel, thinking about that paradox, and noticing that I seemed to fit right in, in Catholic Boston; more people had ashes than didn't.  In my hotel room, I met my roommate and we watched TV news together.  The Gulf War was on and that night SCUD missiles were falling in Israel.  I learned that she was Jewish. 

Before we left for the opening reception, I washed off my forehead ashes.  My roommate hadn't remarked on them before, but she said, "I thought you were supposed to leave those on!"  I said, "I don't think there's really a rule about it." 

There's not.  And ever since then, I've washed away those ashes as soon as possible after I've received them.  It's important to me to get them, and to remember my mortality and that of those I love, and those I DON'T love, and everyone in the world.  To participate with my faith community in that liturgy.  And then, it's time to move on. 

The whole Ash Wednesday liturgy is a church history thing...not a Jesus thing.  It's a tradition, a practice.  Nowhere in the Bible does it say to do the things we do.  That doesn't mean they are bad; but it does mean we might want to look at them with new eyes to see how they really work for us.  In my tradition, we "bury the Alleluias" and do not use the word during Lent.  And mercy, does THAT sometimes get to be silly.  If it's accidentally uttered, oh no!  such comment!  We refer to it as "the a-word."  Oy. 

 

I don't "give up" things for Lent anymore, either.  It ends up not meaning much to me besides a contest of wills, which becomes an obsession.  I know that I can have the strongest will in the world; it's a way of showing off to myself.  But that doesn't get me any closer to Jesus. (My friend Songbird wrote a great homily from which I borrow the "show-off" language.) 

 Yesterday I posted a link about a positive way of looking at Lent.  And that really "hit me where I live" later,  in reading  my friend Kirstin's latest blog post.  Kirstin has metastatic melanoma.  She's been living (and I mean LIVING) with this disease for three years now and blogging her journey. She writes, for Ash Wednesday: 

I need to claim Easter now, because I have no idea if I’ll be here on the liturgical date. My hope is in the Resurrection; I’ll be damned if I’m putting that off for six weeks because the church tells me it’s time to. I’m with the Orthodox; why are we ever proscribed from praising? God’s nature does not change because of our season. 

What am I doing for Lent? Saying alleluia and living in the moment. Seizing the joys that I can find. Looking for perfect nows. Spending time with friends. Being alive and awake in love.

And I say, with Kristin and for Kristin, and for all of us in the world and our fears and pains and hopes:   Even at the grave we make our song:  Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

Some more BE thoughts

Yes, I did a little post-ette here, which served to make my first commenter wail, "That's all!?  Please more!"

But I've been so busy since coming back that I haven't taken the time to really process the experience. 

I am an introvert, so I find cruise ships rather horrifying.  They are, as I often say, a cross between Wal-Mart and Six Flags over Texas: a combination of noise and color and movement and more noise and shrieking and music and visual stimulation...it takes some serious work to condition myself not to be affected badly by all this. 

And, being in a group of 38 strong, intelligent, positive women - who are often trying to be heard OVER all the sound and fury described above - can also be overwhelming. Trying to get a photo of all of their feet at the same time...is a lot like playing Twister! 

I found that knitting was a very important part of my keeping quiet in my head.  Also, naps and walks. 

It was glorious to roomwith Elastigirl again and to know that the setting of the date for her diaconal ordination was right around the corner (May 25, in case you didn't hear yet!) I met friends I have "known" for years but had never laid eyes on yet.  I re-met a woman who was a child in my College Station church when I went there, and now is a new Episcopal priest! 

The sessions were amazing...so much energy and excitement, so many opportunities for sharing and supporting women in minstry that had not occurred to us yet. 

The fun was outstanding. 

And the times for just sitting together, sharing stories...were the best of all.  Whether they elicited laughter or tears (or both), the sacred moments grew the community.   Over a meal, on a ferryboat, on the aft deck, in Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville (!) we were together.

Our closing Eucharist, which was held at 10:30 pm in a room backing up to a disco (a LOUD disco) was truly gorgeous.  The Holy Spirit was among us as we shared and sang together (the a cappella singing against the disco was a miracle!)  and broke the bread of Jesus. 

As some of our number have written, it was transfigurative...ideal as Transfiguration Sunday awaited us after return.