Terrapin Station

Report from the Field

I was on a conference call earlier today with a group of colleagues who have become friends, and we took a moment to go around and say what is going on with us. 

I find that, for purposes of reporting in such a situation, nothing much is going on.  However, in other ways much is going on. 

In the As Reported column:  I took a staycation in June, and will be traveling with my parents a bit in July:  in 2 weeks we'll go to Houston for a week to meet Lucy, their great-granddaughter and my great-niece. 

Here's Lucy, who in this photo had just eaten her first solid food: sweet potatoes.  She liked them!  Photo courtesy of her mama.

And the next week, we'll go to Florida, to The Beach:  St. Teresa.  THE Beach.  There is no other.

Photo courtesy of my cousin Liza...view of the beach from Hannon's Dock.

Really looking forward to it.  This is southeast of Tallahassee...we hope there will not be oil there, but if there is, so be it.  

In the Other Things column:

I'm working along with the FlyLady again.  I've been working with her, more and less, for years...mostly less, lately.  And having a set of daily routines really, really helps me, As an Enneagram 9 I often look at the big picture and say, "What an order! I can't go through with it!" therefore opting to do nothing...at all.  But the truth is, the better I do, the better I do.  It spills over into other areas of my life. 

I'm feeling a lot of feelings.  This is somewhat bizarre and, while I know it's a GOOD thing, I'm not much used to it. 

I'm trying to finish a knitting project...a small one...some puppy hand-puppets.  I'm at the point (the mouth) where I need to pay attention to the pattern, but every time I go to knit, there's something else I need to be paying attention to.  Recipe for disaster! 

It's hot.  And today, hot and wet.  O, well.  We have the AC. 

I finally have my "window" for my windowless office, a print by  Alice Dalton Brown.  See it larger by clicking on her name...

Mine is actually quite large, 30" x 39".  Thanks to Mom and Dad, Sarah, and Qualan, who contributed to this for my birthday!  When I get it hung in my office (waiting for them to do it now) I'll post a pic of the real thing. 
 

Friday Five: Lovin' Summer

Over at RevGals, Songbird invites us to share five things we love, or don't love, about SUMMER. 

1) I love the beach.  Of course, I love the beach in winter, or spring or fall.  But especially summer.  Mom and Dad and I are going in July to St. Teresa Beach.  its in the Panhandle, southeast of Tallahassee a bit.  Currently there's no oil, but we are going even if there IS oil.  Because it's our beach.  Growing up, we went there every year.  In between times, living in Houston, we went to Galveston.  I love Galveston in a completely different way.

2) I love cicadas.  I've just heard the first ones (that I noticed).

3) I love real tomatoes from the Farmer's Market.

4) I love getting in the car when I've been in a way-too-cold office all day.  Then I love turning on the AC!

5) I love preparing for the year to come.  Working at a university (as I always have), summer is a time to re-evaluate, re-tool, and plan for the future. 
 

Every Day

Every Day

No, no, there is no going back.
Less and less you are
that possibility you were.
More and more you have become
those lives and deaths
that have belonged to you.
You have become a sort of grave
containing much that was
and is no more in time, beloved
then, now, and always.
And so you have become a sort of tree
standing over the grave.
Now more than ever you can be
generous toward each day
that comes, young, to disappear
forever, and yet remain
unaging in the mind.
Every day you have less reason
not to give yourself away.

~ Wendell Berry ~
 

many thanks for this, and a hat tip to Jan at Yearning for God.  Jan is one of my best blogfriends that I've never met. 

 

Ancestry.com #WHOOPS

One of the reasons I enjoy pursuing family geneaology on Ancestry.com is that I like to think about and imagine the stories of the people I find.  I know names, dates; in some cases I can see enlistment records, census data, and when very lucky, photos and items uploaded by other folks.  How the people lived, what their day to day lives were like, is a mystery that the documents hint at. 

For instance, various versions of the census ask where people were born, what their mother tongue was, and the same questions for their parents.  Also asked are whether they are head of house or boarder, their employment, education, and in some versions, whether the person is "blind," "deaf and dumb," "idiotic," "insane," or "maimed, crippled, bedridden, or otherwise disabled."  The last set of choices from the 1880 census.  Another version uses "imbecile" and "moron" as choices.  I am not making this up!

 
However, there's a certain amount it that must be taken with a large grain of salt.  Or a barrel.  For instance, I traced my great-grandfather Culbreath back to Geoffrey Chaucer.  Really!?  Well, I'm not going to be putting that on my resumé anytime soon. :)  Because the truth is, frequently you may be going a wrong direction.  You may be taking your family tree the wrong way.  Someone distantly related to me pointed out that I had linked my aunt's first husband's family to a person who was listed on the census as "negro."  Which is actually a pretty good joke, because I think those were probably some very bigoted people. 

And, for instance, another Ancestry.com member messaged me within the system yesterday.  I'd added some people who were related to her / him, and clearly NOT to my husband's supposed ancestor and his siblings, as evidenced by this message: 

Rosannah Gunnell on 10 Jan 1786 swore in open court that she gave the gift of life to Daniel Gunnell, Moses Gunnell, Dicey Gunnell, Sarah Gunnell, & Saunders Gunnell, which was recorded in the minutes of the county court of Edgefield dist, South Carolina.

Nicholas & Roseannah Gunnell are not the parents of William Gunnels. 

Well, okeydokey.  Easy enough to delete those parents for Ken's five-times-great-grandfather.  And I'm glad for the correction.  But I wonder:

Why in the world did Rosannah Gunnell do that?  What was the event that caused her to go to open court and swear as to who her children were?  That seems very, very, very peculiar to me.  Who does that?  Who did that?  What was up with Rosannah!? 

We'll never know.  But I wonder.

From Joan Chittister

   
Coming Home to the Self

We are a culture of misfits — not because there is anything wrong with us as a people but because we are accustomed to becoming things we aren’t. So we don’t fit into our own souls. Our schools put out students to fit the economy, for instance, rather than the heart. Good thinkers go into accounting rather than philosophy because accounting pays more. Fine writers go into law because law is more prestigious. Young people with artistic talent go into computer science because computer programming or hotel management or engineering are full of “opportunities” — read “money” — that a water-colorist lacks.

The problem is that when we do not do what we are clearly made to do we are doomed. We spend the rest of our lives looking for the missing piece of ourselves that we lost before we knew we had it.

Then we wonder why the work we do bores us, no matter how many cars we have, no matter how beautiful the vacation house may be. We can’t figure out why we still feel restless about life. We wonder what it is that isn’t right: the schedule, the children, the marriage, the place.

We lose a taste for life.

Then, it is time go give ourselves the space and means to become again. We need to rearrange the furniture of life to make way for the essence of life: We need to set up an easel and paint. We need to start the woodworking we always wanted to do. We need to take the courses we always wish we had. We need to join the book clubs that talk about the things we are interested in discussing. We need to begin to knit and cook and write and garden. We need to do those unfinished, unstarted, undeveloped things in us that ring the bell of bliss and authenticity. Then life will become life again and all the rust of it will wear away. When we become what we know ourselves to be, we will come home to ourselves.

The rabbis put it this way: “Rabbi,” the disciple asked, “what shall I do to be saved?” And the Rabbi said, “How should I know? Abraham practiced hospitality and was saved. Elias loved to pray and was saved. David ruled a kingdom and God was with him. Follow the deepest inclination of your heart and you, too, will be saved.”

When we live from the inside out rather than from the outside in, everything in life begins to fit.

(I received this in a weekly e-newsletter from Sr. Joan. You can find out more here.)

Midsummer Monday Morning

It's early.  I am awake and achy.  My body is working through a lot of old emotional stuff and it doesn't hesitate to rouse me to let me know "it's time!" again. 

Today is Midsummer, the summer solstice..."longest day of the year."  I have an older cousin who told me (when I was a child) that she was getting married on June 21 because it was the longest of the year and so her marriage would be happy.  If I recall correctly, they were divorced within the year.  Owch. 

The name "midsummer" leads me to believe that somewhere this is the middle of summer.  Well, not here!  We are having temps in the high 90's and 100's regularly...and that will continue through August and maybe September.  Sigh...we had SUCH a cold winter and SUCH a long, cool spring that somehow it comes as more of a shock than usual. 

Here's Ken under our tent at the Denton Air Show.  We were sponsors so were able to pitch our tent in a good location.  I put on lots of sunscreen but still ended up burned in places (I think the sunscreen all sweated off as I was walking in from the car!)

We also took a 10 minute helicopter ride:

Nice to live in a small city where there are places like this just outside of town. I am grateful for the crops and animals raised near my home. 

My friend Sally shares a wonderful meditation from the United Nations Environmental Sabbath Programme that I plan to use this afternoon.   

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
A Midsummer Night's Dream, 5. 1

Friday Five: Late

Jan gives this Friday Five at RevGals:

1. Do you tend to be a late person or one who is timely, arriving on time or earlier?  I won't say I used to be indifferent to time, but it didn't concern me so very much.  I am now in a place (probably because of my work situation) where am very aware, and I strive to always be on time or a bit early. 
2. Have you forgotten anything of importance lately?  Oh, how about double scheduling myself during the very same hour for a friend's ordination many miles away and a conference-call for a board meeting?  Yeah.  That happened last week.

3. Is procrastination your inclination? Why or why not?  Very much so.  As an enneagram 9 I will take forever to get started on something...and finally do it all in a big lather at the last moment.  I think I am fearful of starting and not doing it right; the truth is, of course, it has to be started sometime and whenever that is I will not be any more likely to be doing it right.  So I work to address this tendency, a lot!

4. Do you like schedules or spontaneity? Which works best for you?  I really need a schedule; it forms the bones of what I am doing and helps alleviate the tendency mentioned just above. 

5. How do you stay on track with the various things you need to, people you must meet, etc., etc.?  Track?  What track?  Am I supposed to be on some TRACK!?  I don't want to run track!

Seriously, my Outlook calendar used at work helps with that, and also contains all my personal items, which I have recently learned how to mark as "private."  Because nobody there really needs to know when I am VPOD or when my parents' 47th anniversary is (wait, when is that?  RATS, it was this past Saturday!)  Nobody said that was perfect...it's on the calendar after all...

BONUS: Whatever comes to mind about forgetfulness or lateness.  How about one on procrastination, by Abraham Lincoln: 

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

99 Things About Me (Everything that I have accomplished is in bold)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii (I had a stop over when we returned from Japan to the USA)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain (more like a hill, but a mountain by TX standards!)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch-hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors-
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing - Does Enchanted Rock count?
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (from a photograph)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (if fish count)
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Handbasket!?

 
So often these days I feel a great sense of despair dragging me down, due to the world and the activities (or lack of activity) of the humans in it. 

This was brought into sharp focus for me recently when that Dutch boy was accused (later convicted) of killing another young lady in Peru, five years to the day after the first one disappeared in Aruba. AND, Summer 2005 was the summer of Hurricane Katrina and the heinous aftermath...and now we have the inimaginable catastrophe of the oil spill.  In both cases, why are so many people standing around yakking while precious time gets away?  Why does nothing get better? 

It's enough to make me lose my religion!  Well, not really.  But it helps to see something like this...hat tip to the incomparable Sally Logee Neel.  See if you can watch it without a smile. 

This Vacation Week

(in the future:  where I hope to be for a few days in July: St. Teresa Beach, FL)

Vacare:  (Latin) To be void

This past week of vacation really has been an experience of void.  Not in a bad way: in an intentional way.  And I wouldn't say that it has been "Vacare Deo," literally, "to be empty for God"; to be at leisure for or available to God" - It has been being at leisure for and available to myself.  That needed to come first. 

A friend loaned me a series of great CD's on Contemplative Prayer and I am listening to them with the sense that this is the next step...that they came to me at just the right time.  That intentional practice at Vacare Deo is now possible. 

But this week I have done a mixture of the following things:

• Reading
• Exercising
• Energy work and meeting with counselor
• Time with friends
• Time with family - including research toward problem-solving
• House cleaning (deep cleaning!)
• Staying inside due to the heat
• Many naps at various times
• hard crying and grieving
• After crying, did not want to eat compulsively.  For the first time in a LONG time. 
• Water aerobics classes

It opened me up to make a decision that has been a long time coming; to feel some feelings I haven't been aware of; to be ready to take some next steps in my life. 

I'm grateful.