Terrapin Station

Friday Five: Signs of Hope

Songbird says at RevGals:  My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away; for now the winter is past, the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. - Song of Solomon 2:10-13                                       

In the late, late winter, as the snow begins to recede here in Maine, we begin to look almost desperately for signs of spring, signs of hope that the weather has turned and a new day is on the horizon. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, Easter and Spring twine inextricably, the crocuses and daffodils peeking through the Earth as we await the risen Christ.

Share with us five signs of hope that you can see today or have experienced in the past.

1)  In north Texas we are quite a bit farther along with the Springing of Spring than those of you in northern climes.  Fruit trees and forsythia have flowered and are now breaking into leaf; irises are out, and tulips and daffodils shine.  Squirrels and birds are nesting. 

This morning at 8:44 a.m. (the moment of the Vernal Equinox, or Ostara) I went outside with my coffee for a thanksgiving moment, and observed a squirrel headed into its dray (nest).  I had not known there was a dray in that tree, just next to where I enter my building, and so I am delighted to know that I can look to them each time I enter and leave the office for a sign of new life. 

2)  In my previous two posts is an indication of a rebirth coming about in my life.  I am still profoundly stunned by this process and feel rather underwater with it.  But the fact that I was able to write about it gives me hope that I will surface soon.

3)  I had three evening events at church this week.  That happens once a month, when two monthly and one weekly event coincide.  I had been laying out of church choir, so I went from NO evenings at church (for about a month) to three in a row.  And I was shocked and amazed to realize, as last night's meeting ended, that I was not EXHAUSTED and stressed.  That has, in the past, been the way I've felt ending a day with a church event.  It goes back to number 2, I'm sure. 

4)  My brother Bill died on April 6 last year, the day after my birthday.  It's been a strange and painful process to move through this year...we were not close and so it wasn't THAT kind of grieving process.  But his wife and son are moving through, I think, and I am grateful for that. 

5)  And of course the BE 2.0 retreat in Arizona, 27 days from now.  The time last year was such a gift of time away in community, made more precious by the fact that old and new friends, most of whom had never met face to face, were coming together as sisters.   I am excited about meeting the folks who will join us this year for the first time!  And about learning from and sharing time with Wil Gafney, whose book  I am reading in preparation for the retreat, and for which I'll be leading the RG discussion on April 27th.  

 

What's giving you hope? 

on the heels of the last post

  "...and, protecting us, it teaches us how to live."

May these words of Hesse's bring you peace as we turn the corner into a new season. Your companionship with us on this journey of grateful living inspires us day by day to believe in a world in which all life is treated with reverence and even the smallest blessing recognized and appreciated. Thank you for all that you do to bring about this vision, in your personal life and your stance towards the world.

- Your Gratefulness Team

I received this e-card from my friends at Gratefulness.org, in celebration of the Spring Equinox (Ostara).

Blessed be.

(set to post at 8:44 a.m., the exact time of the Vernal Equinox in Central Standard Time zone) - at which time I shall be taking a little break outside to look at the trees budding.)

Being Born

I was reading a novel the other night, and the narrator was going through labor and in the transition phase...I have no personal experience of this and must admit that I am not sorry, given the particularly graphic description. 

On a site called Birthing Naturally, I find these sentences used to describe the feelings of a laboring woman in transition:   

The major emotional marker for this stage is giving up....Another physical sign is the inability to relax or be comfortable.  At this point, it is the job of (the mother's) coach or labor partner to assist her into various positions in an attempt to find the one that will keep her most comfortable.

Transition is the time when the mother is the most emotionally needy as well. The "giving up" or feeling out of control may be recognized by comments the mother makes. It is not uncommon for a mother to say, "I can't do this," or "I need something." Recognize that this is not the mother asking for medication,* but for help.   She can no longer handle the labor the way she has been, and she needs to do something different.

This resounds for me.  I am being born into something different in my life, and I am not sure what it is...or what I will be when it's over.  I wasn't expecting it when it came.  I don't know why it happened when it did.  And I have not enjoyed it. 

There have been friends, coaches if you will, who have listened to me explode and weep and rage, who have suggested reading and helped me to get into different positions, from which I can progress until this stage is over.  They are walking the road with me.  They are not letting me give up.  Thank God, thank Goddess.

So what is it?  Without going into a lot of detail, I'll say that some things I had never before questioned about my faith, I am questioning.  Why I had to get to be 43 years old to do this, I have no idea. 

I find that I am not willing to accept some things any longer.  And some things that used to trouble me, do not.  It's as if I'm shedding a skin. 

I am offloading tremendous amounts of anger, most of which is likely not related to this topic at all.  But I am a classic anger represser from way back and this seems to be a deep fissure through which some of this is finally able to escape. 

It reminds me, in fact, of the two deathbeds I have been at, those of my Bigdaddy and my Aunt Etta Jane.  In both cases, I felt privileged to be there and was powerfully impressed by what hard work it was for them to die.  It was, in fact, like labor, like being born into something else.  Like shedding a skin. 

Preparation for Lent actually brought this up...and it is being the most profound Lent of my life so far, though entirely different from any I have ever spent.  I have not done the things I normally do.  I have not kept a Lenten discipline of specific devotion or reading or sacrifice, gone to Lenten services, etc. 

I wonder what comes next. 

______________________________

* Of course, this site is advocating natural childbirth.  I do believe that many women are, in fact, asking for medication at this stage, and I am all in favor of giving it to them...!

Finishing...

I have a bad habit, which I will now confess:  I do not finish knitting projects. 

Scarves, yes.  I have finished scarves.  But  in my UFO (Unfinished Fiber Objects) list, I have a sweater (got too big, disgusted, quit it); a sock which I began in August - stuck on the heel - scared of  messing it up - plus 4 complete kits with yarn and notions that I dare not start. 

As I am a very extreme INFP, this makes sense.  From a website description of INFP challenges: "INFP's are perfectionists. They may be self-critical. They feel there is never enough time to do the job right. They must recognize when to quit, and live with a less than perfect product." 

Seems kind of profound, no?  Could it possibly be a metaphor for other things in my life?  Hmmm!

I have so many friends who produce gorgeous knitted items.  Whole garments!!  And you should have SEEN all the hand-knit socks with Birkenstocks and clogs at this weekend's gathering!  To say nothing of sweaters...but if I could just finish the socks...it would be so great. 

I tried last night, but the place where I was going to knit didn't have good light.  The other place (my library chaise lounge, space designed for quiet reading and knitting) was full of blankets that Ken put there.  I gave up.  Self sabotage, anyone?  I could have moved the blankets...

Edited to add, per Jan's comment below:

Righthand (female): free enneagram test

Snow Men

 

Nephew Saxon and his friend say, "Live long and prosper." 

Small Child with Fish

 

Summer 1967...I am 2 years old, showing off my fish.   

Cute, no? 

Thanks to sister Barbara for this!

Wanna Buy a Motorcycle?

 

Spring Break Day

We used to get the whole week off for Spring Break.  Now we just get one day (this one).  I'm okay with that, really...it was a great bonus but I have an awful lot of work to do, and a 4-day week with relatively little student traffic will be very good for that. 

My spouse is outside working on his motorcycle and the lawnmower.  The sun is shining, trees are greening, it's probably about 60 degrees.  Gorgeous, especially after a weekend of cold, rain, and MUD at the camp. 

I keep thinking this is Saturday...I just went over to the Eleventh Hour Preacher Party at RevGals...it is over, of course!   I still read through it, because that's me. 

I loved the Fiber Retreat.  Such a cool vibe...all these people interested in fiber arts; some of them more into knitting, some weaving, some spinning, some in hand-dyeing fibers.  There was a huge circle at the end of the room full of spinning wheels; this picture shows only about half of them:

 

Here is the Viking Knitting.  It was the copper wire part of this bracelet that I made and gave to Mom.  It was actually more like weaving, and was done with "dead soft" copper wire, winding it around a dowel.   

Mom just left and I have the rest of the day to declutter, catch up with the laundry, prep for the week...

read blogs... :)

Fiber Retreat Article from Tyler Paper

Spinners, Knitters, Dyers Learn How Vikings Knitted At Retreat

By KELLY GOOCH
Staff Writer - Tyler Courier/Times-Telegraph

Astrid Thomsen has knitted on and off all of her life, but she didn't learn how to do Viking knitting until she participated in this year's Wildflower Fiber Retreat.

Spinners, knitters and dyers gathered at Camp Tyler Saturday for the 16th annual retreat where they could spin fiber, dye wool, make jewelry, attend workshops or even catch up with old friends.

"It's fun and relaxing and informative," Thomsen said. "I look forward to it every year."

Midge Jackson, chairperson of the Wildflower Fiber Retreat Committee, said about 50 people -- mostly from across Texas -- decided to participate in the three-day event.

"It's surprising the number of spinners that are around. You wouldn't think there are so many, but there are," she said.

Spinners in general and people at the retreat are trying to keep the craft of spinning alive, Jackson said, but they are also trying to explore new fibers and new techniques.

She noted that a lot of newer fibers such as fiber made with bamboo are made in a laboratory.

The event began Friday with an opportunity for new spinners to take a beginning spinning class.

On Saturday, some attendees participated in a Viking knitting workshop and made bracelets, others spun and some participated in a Bargello workshop where they could create an Aurora Borealis pattern.

Jackson said Aurora Borealis was actually the theme of the retreat.

"All our workshops tend to go with that theme," she said. "(We're) focusing on northern breeds of sheep and northern traditions, including Iceland, Scotland (and) Scandinavia."

Also on Saturday, Marilyn Miles from Lincoln, Ark. was scheduled to talk about Icelandic wool and Joyce Terrell was scheduled to talk about Shetland Sheep.

There were plenty of activities planned for Saturday night as well, such as contest judging and a show and tell time.

Jackson said judges will choose first, second- and third-place winners from participants' handspun or hand-processed creations, and a People's Choice Award will also be given.

Additionally, a workshop is scheduled for Sunday morning where one topic will be knitting with Lopi yarn.

If attendees weren't involved with a workshop or listening to a speaker, they had plenty of other activities that were available.

One room had hand cards and other equipment, which Jackson said could be used for preparing fiber for spinning.

Participants could also dye fibers -- using Kool-Aid and other materials -- or buy items from vendors.

Vendors provided plenty of options for attendees to choose from, including drop spindles, yarn and a triangle loom for weaving shawls.

Regardless of whether they bought something from a vendor, attendees at this year's retreat will not go home empty-handed because they each will get a door prize, Jackson said.

She said this year's retreat is different from previous years because there was a little cold weather this time.

"It's more fun when it's cold. We like to wear our sweaters and our shawls, It's a good opportunity this year to have a nice, cozy retreat," Jackson said.

No matter what the weather was or what they were doing, participants seemed to be having a good time Saturday.

Thomsen, of Farmersville, said there is a lot of camaraderie between the participants and they are always learning and fine tuning their skills.

She talked about different aspects of animal management and other subjects with participants, she said.

Elizabeth Harkins, of Dallas, was at the retreat for the first time this year.

She said she has only been spinning for a little more than a year, so she wanted to learn from other spinners.

"In the old days, everybody was a spinner," Jackson said. "But for us, it's a great creative process. We've got some wonderful people here and they're enjoying themselves."

Friday Five on Monday: Lent?

1. Did you give up, or take on, anything special for Lent this year?

I gave up Lent for Lent.  I needed some time away from the doctrines and dogmas that I think had become idols, blocking the path of my spiritual life.  I have been reading widely and exploring other Christian expression.

2. Have you been able to stay with your original plans, or has life gotten in the way?

Yes, I think so.  Although I didn't really have a plan...it was more of an anti-plan.

3. Has God had any surprising blessings for you during this Lent?

Finding friends who have walked this same path, though I would not have guessed it.  Support for this exploration. 

4. What is on your inner and/or outer agenda for the remainder of Lent and Holy Week?

Keep on with it.  Don't allow it to consume the rest of what I need to be doing. 

5. Where do you most long to see resurrection, in your life and/or in the world, this Easter?

I hope to feel at home again, or find where that is.