If you aren't familiar with Bridge Building Images, a great source for icons, head over there!
This is an icon of St. Joseph by Nancy Oliphant. According to the website:
St. Joseph, spouse of Mary and foster father of Jesus, was chosen by God to be the trustworthy protector of the holy family. His manner of living, teaching and working bore uniquely upon the upbringing of the Christ child. This icon emphasizes St. Joseph’s parental responsibility and strength. The child Jesus looks askance at a world full of obstacles. The background suggests a few of the difficulties ahead. Beginning in the lower left at the cave in Bethlehem the holy family crossed hot desert terrain and the Red Sea as they fled Herod’s wrath. The background to the right implies the return to Nazareth.
Though a humble carpenter St. Joseph was aided in his responsibilities by several important angelic messages. He is not mentioned in descriptions of Jesus’ public ministry. It is generally accepted that he died sometime after the finding of Jesus in the temple. St. Joseph is often depicted holding a lily to symbolize his virtue and holiness.
As a stepmother, I lean a lot on St. Joseph. The fact that I am certainly NOT a virtuous and holy saint may be seen in the icon that might be written about me and my stepchildren. I would definitely be the one "looking askance," or maybe a better word is "wild-eyed."
I have been especially grieved about the situation with Brandon lately as I realize that I am going to have to "STEP AWAY FROM THE BOY!" for my own sake. And maybe for his.
I have struggled with this for a long time, because not only do I love him and feel responsible for him; I made promises to him and to God about him when Ken and I got married. We three were the only ones there (besides the officiant), and there was a special vow that I read to Brandon, in which I promised to always do my best to love and support him in our lives together.
This makes it difficult for me to let go, but I think at this point there are too many voices in the conversation (Dad, Mom, Brandon) and there is not a structure to respect my place in the unit. Oh, in the beginning it worked well...I did all the day to day stuff (he has always lived with us), and I was the strict one (because someone had to be!) But now, when the parents aren't willing or able to stick to their guns, and no one but me is willing to stay with the commitments we have made and asked Brandon to make, it really does seem futile.
My attitude right now is, "Okay, fine. I'm going to let you-all take care of it, and we'll see how you do." Is that un-Christian? Un-parental? I just feel that, over the years, both of them have "given up on him" at various times, and that's NOT what I am wanting to do. I just need to get in the backseat of the Family Car of Support. Or maybe in the trunk. Or hey, I could stop off at a diner for coffee.
