I am starting the day with reading and praying these, and writing about them at night.
From the Ignatian Prayer Adventure:
Read Psalm 139:1–18.
Consider: How does God gaze upon me? How open am I to receiving this intimacy?
It is good to remember that we are always in the context of prayer, whether the prayer is more meditative or affective. We should always try to maintain a spirit of deep reverence before God, especially when our affectations are involved.
From the psalm:
Even before a word is on my tongue,
LORD, you know it all.
Behind and before you encircle me
and rest your hand upon me.
Reading Psalm 139 was very comforting, soothing even. I don't have to tell God anything...God KNOWS. I must forget that regularly, because I am surprised to remember it. Tonight at Weight Watchers the meeting leader reminded us that eating to cover stress doesn't do anything for stress...not for very long anyway...and that eventually, we have to feel our feelings.
And I got very, very SAD. I thought, "girl, you do not know what you are doing here; this is a powderkeg, a room full of people who've been stuffing their sad, mad, scared feelings for YEARS. You had better watch out."
I don't think she was suggesting that we go ahead and feel our feelings right then, but somehow, I did. Fortunately no one else was, at least not that I could tell (we are good at hiding when we are stuffing). I sat there and thought about how God knows just what I am feeling.
Everyone else seemed very normal (except the woman behind me who kept saying, loudly, to her companion, "CAN YOU HEAR WHAT SHE IS SAYING?" Clearly she needs some hearing aids, or some new ones.
So frustrating to be unable to hear. And when I forget to listen, I am unable to hear.
