A group of friends have been discussing Geneen Roth's Women, Food, and God. Her Eating Guidelines are these:
Eat when you are hungry.
Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspapers, books, intense or anxiety-producing conversations or music.
Eat what your body wants.
Eat until you are satisfied.
Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure
When I was little I would bring a book to the table and place it, open, between my thighs on the seat of the chair. I would read until I was caught and stopped. This was a combination of checking out of the family meal (which could, indeed, prove discordant when there were 6 of us at home) and wanting to stay in the world of the book, into which I'd fallen.
In my early elementary years, there was a reasonable amount of conflict to wish to be absent from. Reading was my friend and my safe place. And I got lots of good attention for being an early and voracious reader.
Later, when my father was out of town, Mom would let me and Nancy bring books to the table and we'd all read as we ate dinner.
And then, when I went away to college, I learned that I could read while I ate any time. In my mind, that was an opportunity that adults could choose...like blowing soap bubbles inside the house (this was not allowed in my mother's house, but Songbird will let you do it...)
So trying to convince myself that it's a good idea NOT to read while eating...is not pleasant. It makes me feel angry and deprived. Currently I'm trying to spend 5 minutes of a meal doing it, or eat one item of food that way. Then I can go back to my addiction. Hopefully the willingness will be there to spread that out to longer periods.
I understand, I really do, the purpose of awareness while doing things. Including eating. And I understand that it's a big deal for me for important reasons, and that it protected me for a long time. But maybe, just maybe, I don't NEED that protection. Maybe I can see what it's like to eat aware-ly, not numbly and blindly.
Maybe.
